Thinning of the Veil

I always hated Halloween as a kid.  My memories are of being dressed up in costumes such a Wonder Woman, a clown, a scarecrow and a witch and going door to door in my little townhouse neighborhood begging for candy. It really made no sense to me and, before the night was over, I would be scared by someone and hated it. I grew to hate Halloween even more as I grew up because people started using it for evil, in my mind. Razor blades in apples, teenagers stealing younger kids’ treasure, egging and toilet-papering houses. It was just never my thing.

It wasn’t until about six years ago that I was coerced into attending an adult Halloween party and that I actually enjoyed myself. I realized the only reason that I did was because it was at my happy place (wine bar) and I was disguised as Harley Quinn and NO ONE knew it was me. There was a sense of being able to take on a different persona for once in my life and I was 100% into my character.  A few years later, I went to another Halloween party as Catwoman, and again, I was able to delve into the character which was quite gratifying.  Still, Halloween is not my thing. Well, not THAT kind of Halloween.

As years passed, and I began my spiritual journey, Halloween took on a different meaning for me. I still don't enjoy the societal version of Halloween and I never will. But to me, Halloween is all about the thinning of the veil. What does that mean? It means the spiritual world and physical world are the closest they will ever be.  The spirits in Heaven and we, here on Earth, are able to connect much easier because of the veil being thin.  I am always in tune to the spirit world but it has been even easier for going on almost two weeks now.... and it's just going to get easier in the coming days.

It's a magical, yet exhausting, time for me.  The sound of doors creaking open but when you look the door is shut tight and locked. Clanking of dog tags but both dogs in your house are sound asleep and not moving. A phone that has been disconnected for months suddenly faintly rings. Orbs of light dancing on your security camera. Your dog seeing a spirit at the top of the stairs and is staring at it and cocking its head in conversation for a half hour straight. The sound of a baby gate falling to the floor when it is clearly still in place and hasn't moved. Another dog playing with his sister in spirit. A doorbell ringing but no one is there when you open the door. Hearing your name or even a sentence but turning to see that no one is there. Most of these are regular daily occurrences for me but leading up to Halloween it gets intense and more prevalent. 

Some of these things may sound scary to you, but they shouldn't. The thinning of the veil isn't about fear. (Well, it isn't to me.) This is about spirits trying to communicate with us. It takes a tremendous amount of energy for spirits to connect with the physical world. In the same respect, it takes a ton of energy for mediums, such as myself, to connect with spirits. But there is truly nothing more comforting than to hear from your loved ones who have left their physical bodies. (Or, in my case, being able to relay messages to you from your loved ones in spirit.) If you do encounter a spirit that is annoying or you do not want around, then very sternly but nicely tell them they are not welcome and they must leave. I have found that this works the majority of the time. If it doesn't, then you'll want to smudge the area with sage. 

I try to make the placing of a protective shield around me part of my daily morning routine, but during this time of year it is absolutely necessary, especially if you are purposely trying to connect with spirits or are an empath.  Here's a simple article for you to read that explains it pretty well: https://backpackerverse.com/white-light-protection/

So when you are dressing up your kiddos to go trick or treating or donning the unique costume you are so proud of this year, remember what Halloween is really about to me (and to many others who just may not be admitting it). It is about connecting with spirits.  Be aware, be open. There are signs and synchronicities everywhere.   Your parents, your grandparents, your friends, your cousins, your spouses, your pets - they are trying to let you know they are still around and with you. All you have to do is pay attention and honor their presence. 

Time to take back my power

Positive attracts positive.
Focus on what you want; not what you don't want.
Worry comes from fear and we need to vibrate higher - from a place of love always.
What we resist persists.
Do not give fuel to something that we fear or we will manifest it.
We have the power to heal our own bodies by addressing and healing our core wounds.
WE are in control.

I know this. I teach this. I preach this.
I have helped numerous others along these lines, almost daily. But I am struggling right now.
It is affecting me personally and I am trying to figure out why I am coming from a place of fear - a state of worry and anxiety.  I have flipped the switch. I have told myself what I tell others daily. I KNOW that everything will be fine. I KNOW that this is part of my journey and whatever the outcome is is part of the path that I have chosen in this temporary human existence. So what am I scared of? Why am I afraid? What would I tell someone else if they came to me with these concerns?

Well, I would say, "What are you afraid of? What exactly is the source of your fear? Why does this truly scare you?"  Get to the heart of the matter - the bare bones. The basics.

I am not afraid of dying. Death has never been something I have feared. But I am not ready to die. I still have so much to do and experience and share. If it's my time, then so be it, but I'd rather it not be. I do not want to leave my mom, my baby girl or my Hubs. I don't want them to mourn me at only 45 years old.

I haven't left my mark on this world yet. I am just beginning. In this past year, I have just started to share my journey and it is not only helping me to heal but it is making a huge difference in the lives of others.

Those words were written on August 8. 

*******************

On July 12, I had a routine annual mammogram. On August 6, I had a follow up mammogram and ultrasound performed. When I got the call that a biopsy was the next step, that's when the anxiety truly kicked in. In a sheer panic, I contacted my spiritual mentor, Ilona, for help. I had been listening to my own advice but it wasn't working as well as it should. I knew what I needed to do but the fear was starting to take over and I needed to get it under control. She was the only one who could truly help me.

We manifest dis-ease. Yes, we are in control of our bodies and what happens.  Every single ailment that we have is a result of something that has not been healed. Dis-ease. That hyphen is supposed to be there. It's not disease. It's dis-ease.

I never once thought that I had cancer. In fact, I knew that I did not but my ego brain kept taking over and putting fear in my mind. The fear of "what if". The fear of the unknown. The source of this dis-ease was not cancer. It was something else that had manifested in this part of my body - the feeling of being unloved and the fact that I was putting everyone else before myself. I had done this to myself. I know I am loved. Don't you ever question that for a minute. The problem is that I am so focused on fixing/helping/healing everyone else that I am not taking time to focus on myself. I am in a work environment where I am not appreciated or respected and I am putting myself in an environment that is not aligned with love and it is manifesting inside of me as a physical problem.

So what do I need to do in this instance? Take my power back. Stop putting everyone else first. That doesn't mean be selfish. That means align with my truth and only accept things that align with me. It means stop accepting bad behavior from others. It means start treating myself the way I want others to treat me. It means stop allowing others to vent and moan and complain and talk negative about others to me. If it doesn't align with love, then it's time to walk away. Once I start taking my power back, I will be free of this dis-ease. Ok, so I got this. Makes perfect sense. I mean I can't even begin to explain to you how hard this slapped me across the face.

But that ego brain kept rearing its ugly head. And when it did, I tried my best to push it away. Leading up to the next test was difficult though. I tried to stay busy. I kept my mind off it as much as I could. I meditated, I was grateful for a body that was cancer free and I filled my thoughts with positivity. The worst part was not wanting to go through another test when I KNEW what was wrong with me and it wouldn't be anything that shows up on a test anyway. So why did I have to go through this nonsense? Well, what if there IS something wrong though? What if it IS cancer after all?

So on August 27, I had a breast biopsy done. I know there is nothing wrong with me and I even told the doctor that I knew that but let's go ahead and stick me in a archaic contraption while three different people poke, prod, compress, and stick me over and over and over for an hour anyway. The doc and nurses were actually really amazing and comforting. One actually held my hand or rubbed my back the entire time and told me step by step what was happening. She gave me hope for humanity again. My dad, grandmother, grandfather and Sheila all wrapped up in one came through in this beautiful compassionate soul named Carrie.

I wouldn't wish that experience on anyone. The physical discomfort was enormous but the emotional nightmare that was racing through my mind at the same time was even worse.

What the hell is happening? 
Why am I going through this? 
How did this happen? 
What did I do to deserve this? 
What if I have cancer? 
Daughters of fathers who have prostate cancer are more likely to get breast cancer. I know these stats but they are just stats and that means nothing. The cycle stops with me and now! Right?
If I have cancer, there is no way I'm going through chemo and I'm not having surgery. 
I don't want to be sick. 
I'm getting married soon. 
I am making my dreams of living at the beach come true. 
I am at a place in my life where I am finally at peace with everything and am truly content and happy.
What if I do have cancer though? How much time will I have? I will go even more hard core on my eating habits. I'll give up wine. Yep, I sure will.
I can't leave Nami. I promised her I'd never leave her.
Ouch, damn, that hurts. Is this over yet?
Am I ok? Of course, I'm not ok
So why is this happening? How did I even get here?

The procedure was over and then I had to wait 4 to 5 days for my doctor to call me with results. I didn't need the doc to call me because I already knew the results. I did NOT have cancer, damnit! I didn't care what they said or did to me - I just knew that I didn't have cancer. What I did have was a lot of pain and an ice pack in my bra. Fun times.  And the color pink everydamnwhere. I hate the color pink.  I cried uncontrollably on the way home. I screamed and I laughed.  I had all the possible emotions come flooding at once.  I couldn't sleep that night because I couldn't get comfortable and then that made me cry because of why.

The ego brain thoughts would surface every so often but I would squash them as the days went by. The physical pain subsided which helped and one day I woke up and actually felt good. But then something absolutely disrespectful and down right mean and hurtful happened to a dear friend of mine and guess what happened? The pain came back tenfold. That is when I knew for sure. I did NOT have cancer physically but this was a wake up call. If I didn't remove myself from the situation that was causing this dis-ease, it would soon manifest into real cancer.

On August 29 at 11:37 a.m. my phone rang. It was my doctor's office. I held my breath, said a quick prayer, took a deep cleansing breath, composed myself and answered. It was the nurse calling. My biopsy results had come back BENIGN. I thanked her profusely, hung up and cried with relief.

Now, it was time to change my life once and for all. I have received way too many signs but this one... this one... was different.  Every day, from that moment forward, I will make sure to come from a place of love and gratitude while always aligning with and speaking my truth. I AM in control and it is time to take back my power.

The Six Clairs

At this point, we all know that we are energy. We are souls having a temporary experience. We have thoughts and those thoughts turn into feelings, which then vibrate out to the universe and within 30 seconds that vibration is felt and returned to us. We also know about raising the vibration and always striving to be in alignment with love which is our natural state.  If we want to change things, then we change the way we think about them. We know to focus on what we do want and not on what we don't want because we are like magnets! We know that we don't always get what we want but we always get what we believe! I'm not saying we have any of this perfected but I know that we are striving to live our best life by radiating love and compassion. 

So now, what about our psychic abilities? First of all, the word psychic usually has a negative connotation which is unfortunate. Psychic simply means "of, or relating to, the soul or mind".  I never refer to myself as a psychic and neither do any of my mentors or friends that share their gifts of this nature.  I am not a fortune teller. I simply receive messages from Spirit and can connect with those who have passed and are now in spirit form. I can also communicate with living animals and have connected with some living persons. It's all about energy.

I have been sharing my experiences and, as I have done so, some of you have mentioned that you wished you had this gift. Well, what if I told you we all have this ability? Remember we are all on our own journey and no one is better or more advanced than anyone else. You are exactly where you are supposed to be at this exact moment. Becoming more aware, being mindful and being present are so important! 

We use an extended form of our physical senses to receive information psychically - clear knowing, clear sight, clear sound, clear feeling, clear smell and clear taste. "Clair" is the French word for "clear".  There are six "clairs" and you may not even have realized that you have these abilities but you do! Perhaps, explaining what they mean will help you along this journey. 

Clairvoyance - clear seeing.  This is the ability to receive symbols and pictures; mental images without physically seeing them.  I get signs and symbols from Spirit when doing readings or connecting with your loved ones which will then make sense to you and to me when they are shared. How does this work? Well, imagine what the front door of your house looks like right now. You aren't looking at your front door but you can see it in your mind's eye right? The color? The doorknob? The peephole? Any windows? The way you just "saw" your door, is how subtle clairvoyant messages come through. 

Clairaudience - clear hearing. This is the ability to receive sounds and words. I will often receive names, words, sometimes a sentence or two. It isn't clear like having a conversation in human form but when spirits really want to make a point to me, they find a way to get the word out for me to understand.  

Clairsentience  - clear feeling. This is the ability to feel or sense emotions. Being an empath, this often comes pretty easy. Spirits will make me feel a certain way to get their message across. An example of this is when my cousin had a heart attack and died and I felt it in my own chest as it was happening. I also felt my dad's tremendous head pain as he was collapsing and being sent to the ER. 

Claircognizance - clear knowing.  The ability to KNOW information. It's hard to trust at first because you don't see, smell or taste anything and you aren't sure where it came from. You "just know". The information is just there and you just know. Hard to explain but you'll understand when it happens to you. Often people will say, "I just knew it in my bones" or "All of a sudden, it hit me!" 

Clairgustance - clear tasting.  The ability to receive tastes that aren't there. A spirit person will give you the tastes of their favorite meal, drink of choice or something food-related that connects to them. When my great aunt is around, I taste her mac and cheese. 

Clairalience - clear smelling.  The ability to receive distinct smells/aromas.  I often smell pipe tobacco, cigarette smoke, perfume, flowers, food which are all messages related to the spirit person. 

Understanding and developing the six clairs is an important tool for intuition work.  During meditations, you may receive signs from your spirit guides and your inner voice in these ways. Mediation is so important in learning to develop your clairs; even if just for a 20 minutes a day. If this is something you are interested in developing, you now have the first step.... awareness of the clairs! Remember, we are all on our own journey. Some of these clairs may be easy for you to develop and some just may not seem to work for you at all. That is OK! There is no right or wrong way. It's really just a matter of being aware of the energy that is around you and learning how to tune into it! 

Be careful what you think

We can all agree that we are all energy and have thoughts, right? Then those thoughts turn into emotions which create a vibration that we send out to the Universe. Within 30 seconds, that vibration comes right back to us. We know this already. We are practicing flipping the switch when it's something negative or doesn't serve us. We are striving to have positive feelings and raising the vibration. This isn't easy and it takes time and practice. The more you do this the more it will become routine but don't expect it to change overnight. We have been thinking the way we think for decades and it's going to take time but it CAN happen.... if you WANT it to.

You've heard me say, "You don't always get what you want but you always get what you believe". Well, what is a belief anyway? A belief is just a thought that we have over and over.  We have between 20,000 and 60,000 thoughts each day and 95% of those thoughts are the exact same thoughts as the day before. So when you have the same thought over and over it becomes a belief and guess what? Beliefs aren't something that come from within us. They are either taught or told to us.  Ready for this? The thoughts or beliefs that you have now.... you were NOT born with them. Just as easily as they were picked up, though, they can be thrown away. YOU are in control of your thoughts and, as a result, YOU can get rid of any of those that aren't serving you. 

Ever wonder why someone does the same thing over and over even though they know it will NOT give them any different results? Maybe you have even caught yourself doing this before. Well, it's because of your subconscious mind. Our subconscious mind controls 95% of what we say, think and do. Everything we believe in is a result of what happened from 0 to age seven. Yep, you read that right. Everything you believe in is a result of what occurred from 0 to seven years old. That time frame is when we are most vulnerable and the subconscious mind accepts whatever shows up. Good and bad experiences are all stored there. Think of it as programming. The subconscious mind does NOT have free will. Its job is to always point us back to what is familiar. That familiar isn't always good for us but the subconscious mind doesn't care- that's not its job.

Perfect example - when I was about five, I was sitting with my great aunt at her apartment complex pool and long story short, I fell in and my head went under water. I panicked and, as a result, I never learned how to swim.I also never put my head under water again; not even in a shower. Did I almost drown that day? No. Did 911 have to come and rescue me? No. Was I hurt? No. But, even to this day, I remember exactly how I felt that afternoon. As a child, in every family vacation photo, you will see me in a pool but I will be in my dad's arms clinging on to him for dear life. I will be in the ocean but not past my knees and that's even pushing it. My mom never learned to swim. Her mother never learned to swim. There must have been a reason and now my four year old self knew - it was because the water was terrifying and I should stay away from it because it's dangerous. I grew up within walking distance of a neighborhood pool - never went. After high school, I went to a pool party and flirty guys would try to get me in the pool. When I didn't want to go, they assumed it was because I didn't want to get my hair or makeup messed up and would threaten to throw me in. I left many a party angry as a result and was probably seen as "no fun" but it was because of what happened to me when I was a child.  My subconscious mind was always pushing me back to what was familiar and I believed that the water was the devil. To this day, I still do not know how to swim. I am 45 years old, I am surrounded by water, and I do not know how to swim.

Well, where is all this coming from? Well, obviously fear. It surely isn't in alignment with love. The whole point of fear is to bring something up for us to heal, right? I may not know how to swim but I do not fear the water. I am drawn to the water, I find peace in the water, I am enamored by the water. A part of me is missing when I am not near the water. I don't fear it but I surely respect it.  I have been able to go back to this belief from five years old and heal it. Now this is a pretty minor example, it seems, but hopefully you get the point. (One day, maybe I'll share my true core wound from when I was four that has wreaked havoc over my life and relationships, but for now this will have to do.)

But there's good news. Unlike the subconscious mind, WE have free will and we can do something about those limiting beliefs and negative patterns that are still prominent in our adult lives that were created when we were a child. We can correct them because WE are NOT controlled by our thoughts! If you want something to change, then change it! YOU are the only one in control of your thoughts. No one else is in that head of yours controlling you but you!

Silver Linings from Jupiter

Jupiter went retrograde today, April 10, and will be there until August 11. What does that mean? Well, from the vantage point of Earth, Jupiter appears to be spinning backwards.  What's really happening, though, is that Earth is completing its orbit around the Sun faster than other planets outside of its orbit. Periodically, Earth will outpace them and that's when retrograde chaos begins! 

Mercury is the planet that goes retrograde when everyone loses their shit. Excuse my language, but if you haven't experienced a Mercury Retrograde, be grateful. You'll get your chance to experience it when it happens again in July though. Be careful what you wish for.

Jupiter being in retrograde is different though. It's about joy and silver linings! It is a time to do some soul searching to look over events of the recent past and see them in a different light. Jupiter's energy is going to help us be optimistic and hopeful, and when we revisit painful events, Jupiter will guide us to see the positives. It may even guide us to see something we missed the first go around.  During this retrograde, we will be led to open ourselves to the possibilities around us and surrender expectations in order to receive gifts that are meant for us WITHOUT our ego getting in the way.  

Jupiter represents our belief system and during its retrograde is a good time to reflect on what you believe in. You will feel at a crossroads and you may say such things to yourself like, "It's now or never" or "I want to live a life that is meaningful!"  Guess what? You are right! Jupiter retrograde is also making us feel like we need to take action. You have the right, the opportunity and the responsibility to live that meaningful life - that life of purpose. Remember we are soul beings having a temporary human experience in which we are here to learn and to gain soul expansion. Think of this world as school- we are here to learn as much as we can to become our true selves and to always align with love and compassion. What's the secret to living that meaningful life? Love, of course! As if you didn't know that by now. Love is the only thing that is real!

So why don't we make the most of Jupiter Retrograde and do an exercise:

1. Make a list of no more than 5 amazing, positive things that happened to you in the last 6 months. Don't get caught up on the number - list whatever you can but no more than 5.
2. During that same time period of the last 6 months, choose 1 or 2 difficult or challenging things that happened.  When you look at these, what lessons, gifts or silver linings do you now see? If you are struggling to find any, that's ok. Just be proud of yourself for making the effort to at least try to see something good.
3. Once you've made these lists, what positive emotions or shifts have been stirred? Then come up with 1-3 things you can do to change your daily routine as a result.  What can you add or remove that will bring you more joy and make you feel more purposeful and more aligned with love?
4. During this retrograde period, begin integrating these changes into your routine and see how things shift when Jupiter is ready to go direct again on August 11. 

Jupiter being in retrograde is a perfect time to address these areas of our lives and to think about ways that we can step it up, take charge and get that feeling of purpose again! I know I am more than ready! You are going to have to be willing to make a shift and do things differently though in order to bring in that new energy to your routine.  Jupiter energy will help us realize all we need to do to keep moving in the right direction is to find the light in each step, look for the grace in each day and start seeing that even the worst events have that wonderful silver lining!

Grounding

You probably have heard me often say that I am in need of grounding. Or a picture of how I went to the ocean for grounding or I meditated on my lion to get grounded. I may even tell you that you need to walk around barefoot, especially outside, to ground yourself.  At first you may think I'm crazy, but when I tell you to do it, and you do and feel better, I'm not so crazy, am I? So you see and hear me say the word grounding but what does that actually mean?
Grounding allows you to release any excess energy and emotions that you have by energetically connecting to the earth.  This is super important and necessary for me because after I do any energy work (working with spirit, transfer of energy, healing) I am just exhausted.  Having taken on the energy of another person gives me excess energy on top of mine and leaves me drained and often lethargic. So many of us think that we need more energy but that's not always true.  It is often hard for us empaths to stay grounded because we are constantly bombarded with other people's emotions! Sometimes you may think that you just want to be a hermit and stay home so you won't attract any of those outside emotions, but it still happens. Just turn on the news - it gets me every time and often makes me angry, depressed and just worn out.  Simple grounding techniques really help release those emotions and recenter yourself. These even help with anxiety issues and panic attacks.

1. We already know that changing our mindset from positive to negative instantly will change our daily life and we are striving to make that a habit. 
2. We've heard forever that exercise releases pent up emotions but who likes to exercise? I know a lot of us don't because we make it feel like it's something we "have" to do and not something we "want" to do. Well, make it something you want to do! I ride the bike and indulge in Grey's Anatomy at the same time and it's amazing how fast an hour goes. 
3. Crank up your favorite music and dance all over your living room barefoot for 20 minutes nonstop. Have fun!
4. Mediation will not only help you deal with the woes of the day but will also give you clearer insight. It is such an important aspect of being able to connect with your higher self and intuition too!
5. Jump into a sea salt bath for 20 minutes to draw out and dissolve any negative energies from your mind and physical body that latched on to you during the day. Add a cup of sea salt and your favorite essential oil to the warm water and just immerse yourself!
6. Drink water. Yep, drink water. Stop moaning. Why does everyone not want to drink water? I don't get it. I have always been a fan of water. I was told by a wise doctor friend of mine that everyone needs to drink half their body weight in ounces of water a day. I know when I haven't done so, I drag, my skin is gross and my vision is often blurred. Water is such a self-healer as
   
   well and will help flush out the toxins as well as replenish what you have lost naturally. After I do any sort of energy work, I am always craving tons and tons of water. 
7. Eat foods from the earth - they will ground you- vegetables, fruits, nuts and seeds. I end up craving those more than usual when I am in need of grounding. 
8. Use a hematite crystal which is known to have a powerful grounding energy that makes you feel as if you are being sucked back down into the earth. I have heard so much about this stone and I am desperate need of getting one for myself. I have difficulty staying grounded because of all the spirit and energy work that I do daily. 
9. Have a cat? If not, go to the animal shelter and find a cat.  Cats naturally ground us. I just found this out today actually and that's what prompted me to write about grounding. Cats chakras (energy centers) spin in opposite direction from humans which gives them the natural ability to ground.  So holding or petting a cat will help ground you!
10. GO OUTSIDE! Be in nature. These are my absolute favorites.

• Simply, go outside, close your eyes and put your hands on the ground on the grass/dirt/earth and visualize the energy flowing from your hands to the ground.
• Walk barefoot every chance you get. On the grass, on the sand, in the dirt, even inside your house. I can't begin to tell you how simple this is to help get you grounded.
• Play in the dirt. Seriously, like when you were a kid. Dig up some dirt and put it in a pot and play with it. 
• Plant something outside in your garden. I absolutely love working in my garden. I feel at one with nature. 
• Stand/sit with your bare feet flat on the ground. Close your eyes and visualize roots growing from the bottom of your feet. Then see those roots growing deep into the ground and connecting you to the earth.  Feel your energy flowing from your body to the earth and connecting. This is my go-to and it truly re-centers me every time. 
  

Depending on the situation, I use different grounding techniques. Yesterday, I left work and was in dire need of grounding and could literally feel myself craving the earth. I grabbed Hubs, the pup and off to the beach we went. I left my shoes in the truck and the minute my feet hit the scrub grass I could feel the energy releasing already. One step on the sand and I could feel my heart let out a big sigh and the more I walked the more I felt pulled down in to the earth. I needed that release badly! When I got home I sucked down a ton of water and was still thirsty and even added more mushrooms than normal to the sauce I was making for dinner.

There is no right or wrong way. Whatever works for you is what you should use. Grounding is so necessary and can make a huge difference in you day and on your outlook!

Love or Fear

Remember we are all souls having a temporary human experience. We are energy. We all came from Source Energy. We are extensions of Source - God, the Universe, our Creator. (You can call it what you want, but it's all interchangeable. I am a Christian, I believe in God and so that's where my heart lies.) We are all perfect created by and from God - the epitome of pure love and light. As a result, our natural state is love and light. Only love is real. 

We already know that we are all energy and that we have thoughts that create an emotional response. Well, every emotion that we have comes from only one of two places.  Either Love or Fear. It can't come from both. Only one. Love OR Fear.

Love means we are in alignment. It is our natural state. 
Fear is misalignment or contrast.

What is contrast? It's not conflict. Conflict is a clash or disagreement; often of a violent nature. Contrast is when something is strikingly different from what we want or are used to. Although we were made in God's perfect love, as an extension of his energy, we are not supposed to feel perfect 100% of the time. We NEED contrast. Why? How else are we going to know what we DO want if we don't experience what we DON'T want? By showing us what we don't want, it makes it even clearer to us what we do want. Contrast isn't here for our suffering; it's here to help us learn and to lead us to our purpose of oneness - back to love; our natural state. We have come here to experience things and yes, it will be hard at times but by staying in alignment with love it will make things so much easier.

If you're like me, you were taught early on to be strong, suck it up, never let 'em see you cry. That's where it all went wrong. Be vulnerable. If you aren't, you'll end up like me (and a lot of you already are but don't realize it) and your health will suffer later on as a result. By sucking it up, you are stifling your emotions and slowly manifesting disease.

Have I lost you yet?  If I have, go back to the top and read it again. Stop and ask me questions. I want you to get this. Sometimes it takes a while. It did for me.

Maybe a visual will help. I am a visual person so it helps me.  Below is the emotional vibrational ladder. How you feel on this ladder will determine what you attract; what the Universe sends back to you. We are energy. We have thoughts that create an emotional response which then creates a vibration. Within 30 seconds, the Universe sends that exact vibration back to us because it FEELS the vibration we are putting out.

Draw a line out from the word Neutrality. Everything above Neutrality is vibrating in love - our natural state. Everything below Neutrality is vibrating in fear. When I say, "raise the vibration," this is what I mean. Vibrate higher. Move up the chart. When you vibrate in alignment with love, you get love in return. If you vibrate with fear, you get those emotions in return. If you had the choice, wouldn't you always choose to vibrate with love? Of course you would. So why don't you? It really is all in your control. Totally your choice. 

Our inner being is who we really are which is pure love and light.  When we are in alignment with love, we are in alignment with our inner being.  Our inner being will never join in on the lower vibrational emotions. It will always stay in alignment with the truth which is love - we are perfect exactly as we are.  If our emotions are aligned with fear, then there is a wound that we need to heal. We will never be triggered by an emotion unless there's a wound that needs to be healed. The triggering is to bring the need for healing to our attention. Don't push it away because it WILL come back. Deal with it - and I can help you.

So, in each instance of your life - in every experience that you encounter- you will FEEL a certain way.  When that happens, I want you to get in the habit of going through these steps. After a while, after consciously practicing this, it will get easier and become second nature to you.

1.  Recognize the emotion that you are having.
2.  Identify where it is on the chart. 
3. Allow yourself to fully feel it. If you suppress it, it will not do you any good and it will get stuck in your energy field. 
4. Identify the purpose. Why are you feeling this way? What caused this emotion? What is the trigger?
5. VERY IMPORTANT STEP - once you have identified WHY you are having that emotion, ask yourself: "What is it here to teach me?" Because that is why this is coming up in the first place. 
6. Give gratitude for the experience because it has helped you learn something about yourself and you are now aware of it happening and why.
7.  Release the emotion - cry, exercise, write, sing, dance, offer forgiveness

The best way to raise your vibration? Be conscious of your thoughts.  Everything that you think, say or feel becomes your reality, right? Law of Attraction. Every single thought that comes into your head, every single one, has an impact.  When you change those thoughts for the positive, your reality is going to become positive also.

Perfect simple example. I have always said that if I don't have at least 8 hours of sleep every night I am going to be useless the next day, a zombie. Well, of course I am and I always have been because I created what we call a limiting belief.  I have always thought that way so I feel that way and that's what happens. Well, it's ridiculous. So I don't tell myself that anymore and it doesn't affect me. Sound like magic? Too good to be true? Right, I thought so too. Give yourself some credit. Change the way you think about things and the things you think about change.

Here's an easy way to start:  Every time you have a negative thought, acknowledge it, thank it for showing up and then tell it you don't need it, dismiss it and turn it into a positive.  Start this practice and things will start changing for you. I only started doing this about two months ago and it's already made a huge difference in my daily life.

Eighty percent of changing anything is being aware. Guess what? By reading this blog, you are now aware and the more you practice, the awareness will get even greater.

It's all about finding our way back to our natural state of love.
Love is peace.
Love is inner happiness.
Love is contentment.
Love is a state of mind.
Love is why we are here.

Worth it

One year ago today, April 1, 2018, I started my whole food, plant-based journey. You may have followed my blog and all my crazy rants, outbursts and "why the hell am I doing this" posts. You also may have seen that the results I wanted coming in quicker than anticipated and then I started realizing that maybe this was not so bad after all. What started out as a 30-day challenge to see if I could do it, and if it would yield positive results, turned into a lifestyle. It's not a diet. It's not a fad. It truly is a lifestyle and it is one that I am so incredibly grateful I embarked upon. Here is my original post when I first started that challenge and what it entailed:
https://winefoodie.blogspot.com/2018/04/back-to-basics-30-day-food-challenge.html

When the self-imposed challenge ended, I kept on going and decided that I would go 90/10 instead of 100% because there were foods that I truly enjoyed that I missed. For the most part, that still is the case but the foods that I used to crave, I am finding that I don't crave anymore. If anything, I am leaning closer to the 100% now.  The food I was used to eating I don't even want anymore. I would rather have a baked sweet potato with roasted spiced chickpeas and basil pesto than a grilled marinated chicken breast or a steak. I think one time in the last six months I really wanted a big, fat, juicy burger and my stomach paid for it, but I still enjoyed the instant gratification. I used to eat burgers once a week. One thing I can't even fathom giving up and don't plan to though is Hubs' smoked brisket. Now, I'll make the hell out of plant-based sides to go with it though.  And cheese. I was told I'd never want cheese again after this, but I still do. I don't crave it and I don't eat it as much but I still love cheese. But if I had to, for health reasons, I'd kick it to the curb in a heartbeat.

What I have realized, among many things, while on this journey is that it's truly about making better choices. Reading labels is paramount on this journey.  Doing things such as making my own vegetable broth instead of buying the sodium-laden carton crap makes a huge difference. Using broth or water instead of oil when cooking is major. Snacking on cherry tomatoes and hummus or a handful of raw almonds is better than sucking down a bag of Doritos or a Twix candy bar. Cutting out all processed foods, dairy, eggs and red meat have been the key for me. But everything is a choice and sometimes, I make a wrong choice because I am human. Because I want that damn chocolate cupcake from my friends cupcakery when I go home to visit Mom. Because I want to indulge on a six-course wine dinner at my favorite Salt Box Cafe. Because my Beef Wellington kicks ass. Because I want the flipping pizza. But those are choices that I make and I have to live with them. And you know what? When I stray? I make up for it in spades for a week because I know how it makes me feel and I know what it is doing to my body in the long run. As a result, those poor choices don't happen very often.

Why am I bringing this up again after a year? Because today, as if I needed any more reasons, I had confirmation that this whole food, plant-based journey is completely worth it! I began this journey because, for the first time in my life, I was told I had high cholesterol (total and bad) and was pre-diabetic. I am not a medicine girl. I will always choose everything else over shoving a pill down my throat. Had I been provided these results with most physicians I would have been expected to go on statins and God knows what else. Well, I wasn't going to let that happen. I was taking charge of my health!

Today, I went to the clinic to have the same annual testing done (as part of a health insurance requirement with my employer) and guess what?

I am no longer pre-diabetic and I also do not have high total or bad cholesterol!
In fact, all of my numbers are not only in the normal range but are excellent!!!
Oh hell, yeah!!
There was only one thing I changed in the past year and that was starting a whole food, plant-based lifestyle. And you know what?
It was absolutely worth it!

We are all energy

You may remember learning in elementary science class that all matter is energy, right? You also learned that all energy is made of the same particles. Ok, great - the basics.  EVERYTHING in this universe is energy. Yes, even us. 

Remember......we are spiritual beings having a human experience. That sounds all otherworldly and stuff but think about it. Our human bodies will perish. Our spirits will not. Our spirits will always live on even though our bodies have died. Don't believe me? Come hang out with me for a day and you'll realize that spirits are around - they love me. I don't even know half of them but I know they are here. I hear them, smell them, feel them and sometimes see them. No, it's not scary. I'm honored. All they want is to get our attention and they know I am an open channel.

Ok, so here we go. Master this thinking I'm about to explain and you're going to understand a lot more about yourself and the world around you - and definitely look at things in a different light.  I'll keep this simple because it really isn't complicated at all. 

We are all energy.
We have thoughts. 
Those thoughts create an emotion/feeling in our bodies. 

You're still with me, right? So far, we are in agreement with those three points? Ok, good. Let's go on.

That emotion/feeling then creates a vibration.
That vibration is what the Universe responds to with a like vibration.

It's the main law of this universe - the Law of Attraction. The power of our minds to express whatever is in our thoughts and turn them into reality. All thoughts turn into things. So, that means be careful what you think and how you react to something because that is what you will attract! Sound pretty simple?  Good.  

Within 30 seconds of sending a vibration out to the universe, it comes right back to us. Literally, THAT fast. The process of attracting more of what we are focusing on just takes 30 seconds. So, if you are thinking positive, you will attract positive. If you are thinking negative, you will attract negative. The Universe doesn't HEAR what we are saying or thinking; it FEELS our vibration. As soon as your thought creates an emotion and that emotion creates a vibration, it's coming right back to you. So that means everything must start with how you FEEL. Stop focusing on what you DON'T want and start focusing on what you DO want.  

Are you an all doom and gloom, poor, me, the-sky-is-falling kind of person and wonder why does this keep happening to me? Well, it's because you are attracting it!! Stop wallowing in what is happening and make it stop! And don't tell me you can't because you absolutely can! I've been there. I have tried and it works. Is it easy? Of course not. But once you understand the Law of Attraction, it will become so easy for you once you start seeing it in action. Trust me, I've been there. I am not perfect by any means. I still struggle but I also have been practicing this enough to know that it works and then I can quickly change my thoughts as soon as I start feeling that "why me" feeling coming on. Maybe you are a sunshine and rainbows and life is good kind of person. Excellent! Keep feeling that way and you'll keep attracting those vibes! You're probably like me and a mix of both depending on the situation. Start raising your vibration - thinking positive - finding the good- and you WILL start feeling better because you will be attracting better into your life. 

Take some time to let this sink in and then as you go about your daily life, see where you are your own worst enemy or even life's biggest cheerleader. You'll see me referring to this a lot. I'll remind you of this often, probably to the point where it makes you crazy. But it's that powerful and that important. It's very simple and yet such a daunting task for most of us. 

What you feel is what you attract. 
Remember that. 
What you feel is what you attract. 
So start attracting some awesome stuff, ya'll. 
I'm here to help!

Freed by love and forgiveness

She had been planning for this day for weeks. The work that she had done to get to this point had been ongoing and arduous. It was painful. It was time consuming. It was exhausting. It was frustrating. It definitely wasn't easy. But it was necessary and she was finally ready. She didn't just need to do this; she wanted to do this.

The day was filled with overcast skies and periods of rain. The sun didn't shine and the wind was roaring at times, but she didn't give up. She was looking forward to the evening's plans.  Her workday lasted longer than usual but that didn't deter her. The clouds were still lingering and there wasn't much clearing in sight. As the hours rolled on, she started to realize that the power of the full moon that she had been longing for may not show its glory over her home this time.  But it was then she realized that just because she may not see the moon, didn't mean that the moon wasn't there. She could still feel its energy and she would carry out her plans regardless. It was about trust and faith in that which she cannot see. This was too important to postpone. It was time. It was past time.

The moon was to be at its fullest at 9:46 p.m. A half hour prior, she looked out over the ocean and saw a hint of light coming through the dark sky. The moon was starting to fight through the clouds. She ran outside, beaming with excitement, took a deep breath, and an instant smile came over her face as the moon shone in all its beauty.

Anxious and filled with anticipation, she turned on soothing sounds and filled her room with lavender. Her heart began to race. She gathered her crystals, her sage and her letter and went back outside under the light of the moon. Luna was peeking in and out of the clouds but the scene had been set and the energy was enveloping her.  After she saged her space and crystals, it started to lightly rain.  For a quick moment, she began to feel disappointment rising up inside of her. But then instantly, it hit her. Water. Water!! What is more renewing than water? The universe had blessed her plans and was renewing her by washing away the past and setting the tone of the ritual. She was truly being washed by the water in preparation for a new beginning.

She read the letter out loud. The words flowed right off of her tongue as if they were the most natural words she had ever spoken.... with emotion... with pure love.... with unbridled compassion... and, most of all, with complete and absolute forgiveness.

As she began to burn the letter and finally release the resentment and anger that held her captive her entire life, the moon escaped behind the clouds and the dampness from the rain wouldn't allow the flame to catch.  Determined, she retreated to her room, threw open the shuttered windows and burned the letter in the window sill as the moon once again showed its face through the swaying of the trees. There was resistance in burning of the photograph as a dark, toxic smoke begin to rise and consume her. Once she vocalized the symbolism in burning the photograph, the paper began a slow burn. This burning wasn't in anger or bitterness. This burning was to symbolize the final release and letting go of all that person represented to her in his human form; the end of a very long cycle. The person she knew was no longer. She had released him of that guilt and she had released herself from that self-imprisonment. She had nothing but pure love and compassion for him now.  She now clearly knew what her purpose was and how his life played a part in her journey.  Ending with a prayer and a symbolic cleansing of a precious piece of silver jewelry in which his spirit had provided to her, she entered into a new relationship with him; a new beginning.

As she wandered back outside, she noticed the rain had stopped, the wind had stopped and the moon was slowly starting to arise out of the clouds. As she stood at the highest point in her sanctuary and looked up at the sky, surrounded only by nature and complete solitude, she felt it. She felt the heaviness being released and she felt a sense of peace and contentment wrapping itself around her. You are free, little girl. Finally free.

For the first time in 41 years, she could breathe. Truly breathe.

It's time......

I have been flying under the radar lately and that is for good reason. It doesn't mean I'm not thinking of you all and sending you love because I definitely am. It means Spirit has been slapping me in the face for quite a while now and I need to heed its advice if I want to heal and be able to continue to guide and help others.  I haven't been pulling cards or actively connecting with spirit to give myself time to focus on what I, personally, still need to heal. As I have learned on this journey, there is no right or wrong way. It's all the right way.  We are never given more than we can handle and if we are faced with something that we perceive may not be beneficial, then we need to determine what we are supposed to learn from the situation.  Every single thing that occurs in our life occurs for a reason. Everything. And....nothing happens TO us; it all happens FOR us.

As I'm going through my own core wound healing process, I wanted to at least touch base on the Full Moon that is coming up this Wednesday, March 20.  It is not only a Full Moon but it's a Super Moon and it's also on the first day of Spring so there is a ton of energy coming with this one. Remember, full moons are about completions and endings.  This moon will offer up some insight into our relationships as well as lessons around equality and balance.  As we say goodbye to Winter and hello to Spring on the same day, it's a time of renewal and this Super Full Moon will encourage us to renew our partnerships, unions and bring about a much needed peace of mind.

While full moons are a time of letting go and releasing what doesn't serve us, this super full moon will give us the chance to end a chapter or a season within our RELATIONSHIPS. This is a chance for us to reset our sense of balance and justice.  The ending of a chapter in a specific relationship could involve a romantic partnership but it doesn't need to be romantic. It could be a relationship you have with a family member or a coworker or a so-called friend. It could be a relationship that you have with your inner child or one you are battling within your self! I don't have to point it out for you. You KNOW. You may not want to admit it but you know.

For me, this full moon is a time to finally release a passed family member after holding a lifetime of resentment and anger.  It is finally time to forgive them and release them with love and compassion. It hasn't been easy and it has been an ongoing process since this journey of mine began a few years ago, but over the last few months it has been culminating to this point. I am ready and I need to release this burden in order to move on with my life and my healing.  I need to let go of what has been bringing me down my entire life. It is time to stop playing the victim and break free of this self imprisonment. It isn't going to be easy. None of this is easy but all of it is necessary and I have finally gotten to the point where I know I not only NEED to do this but I WANT to do this. There's a difference and when that difference slaps you in the face you know, without a single doubt, it's time.

If you missed my post on the Full Moon ritual, here's the link: https://winefoodie.blogspot.com/2019/02/full-moon-release-and-burn.html  I highly recommend this ritual. I can't even begin to tell you how it has helped me. Don't think it's a one and done thing - sometimes it may work that way but not always. I first wrote a letter back in June 2018 for the individual that I am still battling inside. But remember, sometimes when it's as deep seeded as this one, it takes more than once. If you aren't ready to release with love and forgiveness, then take a step back and try again another time.  When it's time, you'll know....

It's time to find balance within my soul and get ready to begin again. It's time for closure. It's time for forgiveness. It's time for compassion. It's time for renewal. It's time for new beginnings.

Until next time..... sending you much love and healing light.

Messages from Spirit

You may have seen various card posts with messages from Spirit on my Facebook page over the last few months and may be wondering what they mean. Maybe you're curious but not sure how to reach out or what to say. First of all, don't be scared. There is absolutely nothing to be scared of; in fact it's the complete opposite feeling you should have! And also get it out of your mind that I am a witch or doing voodoo or some satanic crap because it is the absolute exact opposite! It is a direct connect to the divine spirit world. Remember we are soul beings having a temporary human experience and are made of energy. Our energy just transforms when we leave our human bodies; it doesn't die. 

You may have heard of tarot cards and most people relate them to fortune tellers.  Honestly, I didn't know anything about cards until about a year ago when I went for a medium session and she decided to pull cards as part of my session. I was instantly amazed and, over the last few months, I have been delving into the art of understanding and reading cards. If I can help someone the way she helped me, then it is more than worth it (and I already have helped quite a few!)

There are tarot cards and oracle cards. Tarot cards go back to mid-15th century and have a traditional structure and common meanings. Oracle cards are free flowing with less rules and can have any number of cards in a deck where tarot decks usually have 78.  Tarot cards have a common theme while oracle cards do not. With all that being said, it truly is reader preference as far as which types of cards to use.

So what is this really all about? I mean that's all fine and good, but what does this MEAN, right? Well, cards are truly just another avenue to receive messages from Spirit. What exactly is a message from Spirit?  How do I get these messages? Why do I read cards?

First, if you read my first blog post this year, it was about my journey with Spirit. (You can find it here: https://winefoodie.blogspot.com/2019/01/my-journey-with-spirit.html)  For years now, I have been able to connect with passed loved ones, communicate with animals (living and in spirit) and, recently, have even been feeling the energy of living beings. Oddly enough, I have found that connecting with animals and deceased human beings is a lot easier than connecting with living human beings! Spirits are awesome and often someone I don't even know will come through to me because I am an open channel. (Wait til I tell you about all the activity in August during last year's LionsGate Portal while walking the dog after work!) 

What it all boils down to is WE ARE ALL ENERGY. While we are in human form here on this earth we are energy and after we have left our earthly bodies and are in spirit form we are energy. It is ALL about energy. If you are open and aware, then you have the ability to connect and just need to hone your skills, which I'm currently doing. Reading cards is great practice for me. 

When I first started working with cards and got to the point where I thought I may want to try to pull for someone, I graciously went to a good friend of mine who "gets it" and who I entrusted from the start. When I pulled a card for her and the accuracy was spot on, it blew us both away. I realized then that it's all about connecting with the energy of the person you are reading, with Spirit and relying on your intuition. I often now will feel "drawn" to pull a card for certain individuals. I don't just decide that's who I'm going to pull for. I receive a strong energy nudge toward that person and sometimes when I try to blow it off, because I may be running late for work, Spirit makes it very clear that it is important to pull this card. More times than not, when I relay that message, it was definitely something timely and of need to that person. 

Sometimes I will draw for "the collective" and that is what you typically see me post on Facebook. I will ask Spirit what the collective needs to know today, or this week, or based on the Full Moon energy, or what the collective is struggling with or needs assistance in today.  The collective is everyone, the group. If you see my posts, and that card resonates with you, then it was for you. You happen upon my readings? That's because you were meant to. Everything happens for a reason. There are no coincidences. 

There also are no wrong messages. When I relay a message to you, I base it off the meaning of the card, what Spirit tells me and the energy that I feel from the card and from you. At times I will pull a clarifier, which is a second card to help confirm or elaborate on what the first card said or meant. Sometimes, more than one card "pops" out and sometimes the cards pop out with reckless abandon which is when I know that this message is definitely important and Spirit wants to make sure it is heard!

While I know that there are no wrong messages, it is important for the person being read to confirm if the message makes sense to them. I relay what I know and what I feel and am "getting" from Spirit, but it truly is up to the recipient to make sense of it. Validating what I have provided is so incredibly helpful. If it doesn't make sense, that is fine too because at some point it will.  Often you may be looking into it too hard and need to see it from a different perspective - Spirit isn't always literal. Spirit could even surprise you. Spirit knows and will always tell you exactly what you need to hear. Remember, it's YOUR energy. 

Why do I read cards? To spread the love. To help people. To give them hope and to encourage them. To let them know they aren't alone. To help them grow and blossom on their own journey. Cards don't lie. I am not reading your horoscope. I am not telling you what's going to happen to you in the future. I am not providing medical advice. But I am relaying messages that I am getting directly from Spirit that are important for YOU to hear. It is also important to know that everything that I relay is for the highest good and insight of all. All messages come from a place of love and negative, toxic or harmful energies are not welcomed. Now, there may be some messages of tough love, but you know it's just because you need it!

So be on the lookout, you may just get a private message from me or text from me out of the blue with a picture of a card(s) and a message for you. I think I've surprised quite a few people already and that's not what this is about but it is pretty fantastic. To be given this gift, I am so very appreciative and grateful. Thank you to those who have trusted me and are helping me guide them and allowing me the privilege of riding along on their journey! My heart overfloweth!