The day was filled with overcast skies and periods of rain. The sun didn't shine and the wind was roaring at times, but she didn't give up. She was looking forward to the evening's plans. Her workday lasted longer than usual but that didn't deter her. The clouds were still lingering and there wasn't much clearing in sight. As the hours rolled on, she started to realize that the power of the full moon that she had been longing for may not show its glory over her home this time. But it was then she realized that just because she may not see the moon, didn't mean that the moon wasn't there. She could still feel its energy and she would carry out her plans regardless. It was about trust and faith in that which she cannot see. This was too important to postpone. It was time. It was past time.
The moon was to be at its fullest at 9:46 p.m. A half hour prior, she looked out over the ocean and saw a hint of light coming through the dark sky. The moon was starting to fight through the clouds. She ran outside, beaming with excitement, took a deep breath, and an instant smile came over her face as the moon shone in all its beauty.
Anxious and filled with anticipation, she turned on soothing sounds and filled her room with lavender. Her heart began to race. She gathered her crystals, her sage and her letter and went back outside under the light of the moon. Luna was peeking in and out of the clouds but the scene had been set and the energy was enveloping her. After she saged her space and crystals, it started to lightly rain. For a quick moment, she began to feel disappointment rising up inside of her. But then instantly, it hit her. Water. Water!! What is more renewing than water? The universe had blessed her plans and was renewing her by washing away the past and setting the tone of the ritual. She was truly being washed by the water in preparation for a new beginning.
She read the letter out loud. The words flowed right off of her tongue as if they were the most natural words she had ever spoken.... with emotion... with pure love.... with unbridled compassion... and, most of all, with complete and absolute forgiveness.
As she began to burn the letter and finally release the resentment and anger that held her captive her entire life, the moon escaped behind the clouds and the dampness from the rain wouldn't allow the flame to catch. Determined, she retreated to her room, threw open the shuttered windows and burned the letter in the window sill as the moon once again showed its face through the swaying of the trees. There was resistance in burning of the photograph as a dark, toxic smoke begin to rise and consume her. Once she vocalized the symbolism in burning the photograph, the paper began a slow burn. This burning wasn't in anger or bitterness. This burning was to symbolize the final release and letting go of all that person represented to her in his human form; the end of a very long cycle. The person she knew was no longer. She had released him of that guilt and she had released herself from that self-imprisonment. She had nothing but pure love and compassion for him now. She now clearly knew what her purpose was and how his life played a part in her journey. Ending with a prayer and a symbolic cleansing of a precious piece of silver jewelry in which his spirit had provided to her, she entered into a new relationship with him; a new beginning.
As she wandered back outside, she noticed the rain had stopped, the wind had stopped and the moon was slowly starting to arise out of the clouds. As she stood at the highest point in her sanctuary and looked up at the sky, surrounded only by nature and complete solitude, she felt it. She felt the heaviness being released and she felt a sense of peace and contentment wrapping itself around her. You are free, little girl. Finally free.
For the first time in 41 years, she could breathe. Truly breathe.
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