Chickpea Flavor Bombs

Ahhhh.... food. Yes, it’s been a while but I’m getting my cooking mojo back. Well, I guess I didn’t lose it really. I just haven’t felt the nudge to blog about food. That whole spiritual energy work thing has kinda taken over. Well, this meal sparked my creative juices and was so delicious that I must share!

Chickpea Dumplings in Curried Tomato Sauce

Looking at this recipe may not excite you but, trust me, it is well worth the effort! No meat, no dairy, no gluten and yet sooooooo much flavor! Do yourself, and your taste buds, a favor and try this one!

I like to prep my kitchen counter with all the necessities before digging in so, first, open a German Riesling and pour yourself a glass. My dad and I always loved to cook with wine. The wine isn’t part of the recipe; it’s for the chef’s enjoyment (and it will also pair well with the end result of your hard work).

The specifics:

1 cup plus 2 tablespoons of chickpea flour

3 cups of finely chopped baby spinach (divided into 1/2 cup and 2 1/2 cups)

1/3 cup olive or avocado oil

1/4 cup finely chopped red onion

1/4 cup dairy-free plain yogurt (I use SO Delicious coconut milk yogurt. You could use full milk yogurt if you wanted, I guess, but why? Just make sure it’s plain and not flavored.)

1 tablespoon finely chopped serrano or jalapeño pepper (I have left this out and it is equally as delicious, so your call.)

1 -15 oz. can no-salt-added petite diced tomatoes

1 -15 oz. can no-salt-added tomato sauce

Spice blend

2 teaspoons ground coriander

1 teaspoon ground cumin

1 teaspoon ground mustard (the spice; not the condiment)

1 tablespoon curry powder (Did you know curry simply means “mixture”? Thanks to Chef Randolph for that little nugget.)

                                            1 tablespoon ground ginger

Grab a large mixing bowl and let’s get started!

Chop the onion and pepper as fine as possible with a sharp knife. I like to have the crunch in this dish for texture so it doesn’t need to be super fine but you definitely don’t want big chunks. Place the cut veggies in the bowl.

Solicit the help of your good friend, Mr. Food Processor, for chopping the spinach. I have made this dish numerous times and finally had the genius idea of NOT chopping the spinach by hand this go ‘round. What a time saver! Add 1/2 cup of the spinach to the bowl. Set the rest aside for later.

Add 1/4 cup yogurt, 1/3 cup oil and one cup plus two tablespoons of chickpea flour to the bowl.

(Do those two tablespoons really matter? I have thought the same thing and am not willing to chance not including it so just get over it and do it.) Mix well until all is incorporated, scraping off the sides of the bowl when needed.

Use a tablespoon (and your fingers) to scoop and shape this mixture into round dumplings. I think they should be called meatless balls or chickpea nuggets. I hear dumpling and I think Asian and this is not that kind of dumpling. Oh well, I didn’t create this recipe, so not my call, I guess. Anyway, make round balls out of the mix in the bowl and place them aside. I usually get about 14 or 16. They aren’t very appealing but just wait because they are so surprisingly yummy!

Now grab a small bowl and combine the spices listed above to create the spice blend.

Believe me, it’s easier and quicker to combine them this way ahead of time rather than adding each one to the pan individually. You’ll make a mess because you are hurrying. You won’t pay attention and forget what you already put in and screw up the balance. I’m talking from experience here. Phew! Ok, yeah, that deserved a sip of wine. Go ahead.

Next, grab a large skillet/pan (that has a lid) and heat two tablespoons of oil over medium heat. Pour the tomato sauce and diced tomatoes into the pan and combine with a wooden spoon.

Add in the spice blend and stir. Let these beauties meld together for a minute or two. Have a sip of wine and take note of how much you’ve accomplished thus far! Ok, not the whole glass. No time for a refill just yet either. Get your grimey hands off that bottle!

Stir in the rest of the spinach that’s been patiently hanging out over there in the food processor. (Oh yeah, remove the blade first. Damn, those things can do some damage.) Use a spatula (or your finger) to get all that spinach stuck around the bottom of that container. No greens get left behind, y’all. Once it is all combined, bring to a simmer. Be careful not to boil. We just want a gentle but steady simmer.

Nope, don’t do it. I saw you reach for that glass of wine. Patience! Well, ok, fine but be quick about it. We have more work to do!

Next, nestle the dumplings/meatless balls/chickpea nuggets in the sauce.

(Nestle. What a comforting word, isn’t it? I’m a word girl. I can’t help it.) Once the round guys are all nestled in, place the lid on the pan and cook for 10 minutes......if you can stand it. I usually have to peek after about five minutes even though there’s really nothing to see. You may want to baste. Use your judgment. Make sure the sauce doesn’t start boiling and after 10 minutes, take off the lid and baste those babies with the sauce. Be gentle because they are delicate. Make sure they are covered completely in sauce. Don’t roll them. Spoon the sauce over them. Put the lid back on and leave them alone for 10 more minutes.

Now is when you get a break. Use your time wisely. Finish that glass of wine, if you haven’t already. Yeah, I saw you. Or, do what I do and clean up the huge mess you made because I despise cluttered and unkept kitchen counters! Plus, after you enjoy this meal you don’t want to ruin that happy feeling by having to do dishes! Completely destroys the good vibes.

This recipe makes enough for four people unless you are at my house in which case it makes enough for me and Hubs and one additional bowl for lunch the next day. Naan or sourdough bread is a must as an accompaniment because you will definitely want to sop up the sauce!

So now the kitchen is cleaned up, your wine glass is empty and the oven timer annoyingly beeps. Shut the timer off. Yeah, I know it keeps beeping so next time REALLY push it.Man, I hate when that happens! You showed that oven timer, didn’t you? Lift the lid off the pan, baste again and it is ready to eat!

Use a large serving spoon to gently place the dumplings and sauce in bowls. Go heavy on the sauce. If you’re like me, your brain will reach for parmesan cheese but don’t do it. What you are about to enjoy may look like an Italian delight but it actually is a rendition of a Pakistani dish so no need for cheese. (Yeah, I’ve kicked dairy in every way possible but just can’t stop the cheese addiction. I have a problem. I know and 80% is awareness. I used to say "at least it’s not crack or heroin" but guess what? Cheese is just as addictive, but that’s for another blog post. Ya only live once, so enjoy that wine and cheese every so often! Well, wait, we actually have many lifetimes, but again, I’ll save that for another post.)

OK, so dig in! Enjoy your Chickpea Dumplings in Curried Tomato Sauce and let me know what you think! Oh yeah, don’t forget to pour yourself another glass of wine! Who am I kidding? Bon Appetit!

Follow your passion

I started this blog in 2014 as a way to memorialize my wine and food adventures.  As time went on, the blog revolved around other passions of mine - my plant-based lifestyle challenge and my spiritual journey.  Six years later, I realize even more why I named it what I did because it truly is a representation of my self and those simple pleasures that matter to me in life.

Ever since I moved to the Outer Banks, my wine consumption has decreased. Sad actually, but it made me realize that is because wine is meant to be an experience. When I lived in NoVA, I frequented wineries/vineyards and my favorite wine bar. It was wine that led me to those places but it was the environment and the people who kept me there. Since moving, I don't have those luxuries any longer. There is a local wine bar but it does not feel like home and no matter how hard I try, it just isn't where I belong. I am grateful for my friends at the Salt Box Cafe who hold wine dinners in the off season, and while those events are absolutely fantastic, it truthfully makes me long for those days gone by at my hometown "happy place". So many memories there - it's where I first began my wine journey and where I met so many strangers who became long lost friends before the night was over.  Even though I don't see them every week now, I still connect with them. If it weren't for wine, we would have never met.  There are no coincidences in life, my friends. 

I didn't always like wine. In fact, I despised it! My ex-husband's family loved wine and would always put a glass at my seat at the dinner table. Even though they were persistent for almost seven years, I would always decline. Over time, I admit, I started declining just to spite them. The mother was a functioning alcoholic and the father drank to tolerate his wife and to pat himself on the back of his worldly knowledge. The sister was a lush and wine was an escape from her sad reality. The rest of the family hung on to their European roots and up went their pinkies and self-perceived sophistication when the wine was imbibed.  I wanted no parts of any of this facade.

Fast forward six years, after my divorce from this family, when I was in a relationship with a very kind soul who loved wine and took the time to teach me about wine instead of shoving it down my throat. What a concept! Those next four years, along with meeting my happy place family, opened up an entire new world to me. Becoming a wine club member of Winestyles of Montclair, I tasted up to eight wines a week and began to understand not only what I liked and did not like but why I felt that way.  Soon enough, I was able to decipher wines that I would enjoy simply by knowing where the wine was from or what grapes were used. Weekend trips to vineyards and tasting rooms in Prince William, Stafford, Fauquier and Loudoun counties led to beautiful landscapes, lovely people, and a lifetime of memories all with wine as the common denominator. 

Over time, I began to teach others about wine and encourage them to make wine tasting an experience.  Wine changes based on food pairings; even something as simple as a piece of cheese or chocolate.  I often joke because friends and family would (and still do) moan because I would always ask them "What do you smell" and would make them answer before I let them even take a sip. Of course, immediately following the first sip, I would then ask, "What do you taste" and wait for an answer. The best part? There are no right or wrong answers. I wanted my friends and family to broaden their awareness and really experience the wine and appreciate what they were consuming. If you are drinking wine (or anything for that matter) to get drunk, you're not doing it right. 

My background and two degrees are in public administration - local government. I know local government but I lost my passion for public service once I personally started seeing the politics and selfishness (and way too often, the narcissism) that was in control.  At that point, I felt as if I was stuck because I was already 10-12 years in. It was a career at that point and I did not want to start over. But it became "just a job" after a while and I have never been one to just "go through the motions". I hate to say it but I lost myself along the way and, unfortuately, it became a very vicious downard spiral.  Little did I know though, it would all make sense more than ten years later. 

By the time 2014 came around and my now husband said we should move to the beach, I was more than willing to give it all up and start over. Yes, even at 41 years old!  I sold my house, quit my 18-year long career without anything in the pipeline and moved four hours away from the only home and family I had ever known. 

When I took it upon myself to request a part-time job at a local wine bar and was given the opportunity, I was super excited but it was short lived. After a few weeks, dusting bottles and playing cashier while being treated like the dirt on the bottom of someone's shoe was not really what I had in mind. Knowing I did not NEED this job but was hopeful to work in the wine industry, I was quick to kick this nonsense to the curb. Moving to the beach was to better my life and this was not going to work. 

I, then, found a sweet gig at an an association for a local neighborhood development where my administrative skills could easily be put to use a few days during the week..(In fact, that is where I met the owner of the Salt Box before I had ever even stepped foot in that incredible establisment! Again, everything happens for a reason.)  New doors were opened for me not even a month later when I interviewed and was offered a full-time County government job.  I was over local government but it was all I had ever known and it would give me a salary as well as health insurance (which I greatly needed as we were not married yet). It didn't take long for me to realize that the public sector here is no different than that from which I came. The short honeymoon phase was "sweet" but I soon had equal headaches, more examples of "what not to do" and "how not to treat people," another brush with narcissism and favortism, incompetency and lack of giving a damn running wild and all at a salary that was cut by $60k. The redeeming part - quite a few friendships that I made and will keep for the duration of my life, which made every bit of the roller coaster worth it.  Just shy of three years, I got married, quit my job and truly renewed and got a new lease on life. 

So now what was I going to do? Anything I wanted. No more holds on me. No more self-imprisonment. I would enjoy being a wife and a dog mom and I would do something I have yearned to do for at least six years - volunteer with Hospice. I have only had one patient so far thanks to Covid but that one patient made a huge impact on my life in just two short months. Without a doubt, I knew this was a passion of mine that would never burn out - love in service. I also began to focus on my spiritual and energy work which I aboslutely thrive off of and delved into it head first. Reaching so many people through love and comfort and healing is what I am meant to do here in this temporary life. 

Then seven months later, a new part-time job found me. I say it found me because I wasn't looking at all. In fact, I decided that when it was time it would happen and I had turned it over to a higher power and allowed things to just flow. I have been performing wine tastings for a local vineyard for almost a month now and after 46 years on this Earth, I finally have a job that I enjoy. Why? Because I get to serve and talk about wine while promoting a business run by a family I respect. I get to meet people from all over the country and make them smile. Most who come to see me are already happy because they are on vacation and I just add a tiny bit more joy for them. 

I have learned and absorbed so much about wine since 2007 that now I am able to share that with others. Wine is not just for drinking and tasting. Wine is for sharing, for comparing, for learning, for great conversation, for relaxing, for laughing, for unwinding, for letting your true self shine. Wine is the making of memories. Wine should be seen as an experience every time a drop is poured or a bottle is opened.

I am not a wine expert but I have always prided myself on my stellar customer service skills. This job is as much about engaging people, making them feel special, making them smile and making them know they matter as it is about pouring wine samples. This job is all about putting the customer first and giving them an experience where they leave happier than when they arrived.  Our wine isn't for everyone but I am confident that there is something on the tasting that every customer will like by the time it is over. If not, at least they didn't waste 20 minutes of their life - we conversed, we laughed, we learned and we raised the vibration if only for a little while. And that, is completely worth every drop.

 

So, thank you, Brown family, for trying to shove wine down my throat all those years ago. Thank you for being an example of what I do not want to be. Thank you for teaching me how not to treat others. 

Thank you, Michael, for sharing your wine tips, knowledge, patience and grace with me for those special years we shared. I look back and smile every time I share something about wine I learned from you and see that light them up as you did me.

Thank you, Kim, for introducing me to my happy place so many years ago as we shared a pizzette and bottle of Jam Jar for the first time.

Thank you, Arthur, for teaching me the value of a "wine experience" every time I stepped through your establishment. Thank you also for becoming a lifelong friend to me and my parents and always making your restaurant and wine bar like home to us. Thank you for my "happy place". It and you have truly changed my life in so many ways. 

Thank you, Kenny, for being a chauvinstic ass and allowing me to experience how not to treat an employee or run a business. 

Thank you, John and Brooke, for trusting me and taking a chance on this girl who loves wine and people and allowing her to represent your wines on your behalf. 

Wine is more than fermented grape juice to me. It is more than alcohol in a bottle with a pretty label. Wine is a hug in a glass. Wine is a memory in a bottle. Wine takes me back to moments in time - moments that made me laugh so hard I cried and moments that equally stopped me from crying.  Wine is an experience and I am so grateful to be returning to that passion of mine.

Soul connections

What's reiki?

Life Force Energy

Moving and transferring of energy

Energy Healing

Pure, unconditional love at its greatest form

That's reiki.

Ok, but, WHY reiki? Well, I'll tell you.

About four or five years ago, when I saw how just one reiki session for my dad, during his battle with prostate cancer, changed his entire demeanor, I knew I needed to know more. When those "magic hands" are the only relief he had from the effects of chemo ravaging his already broken body, I knew that I needed to be able to do the same for someone else one day. Being an inutive empath, animal communicator and medium, learning reiki just seemed like the next logical step.

Personally, I have had reiki sessions by four different reiki practioners and each session was different yet magical and entirely life changing. Some healed me emotionally. Some made a difference in my physical health. Some calmed me and led me to a state of contentment. All affected me in a way that is beyond explanation. What is the common denominator with each one? The relaying of pure, unassuming, open, allowing, trusting, energetic, unconditional love from one person to another. We are all connected. You, me, the Earth. We are all energy. We are all connected energetically and, as a result, are able to participate in the healing of one another. (For all of you skeptics, this isn't "woo woo" - this is backed by science.)

In November 2019, after many years of searching, I finally found a reiki certification class that was gifted to me.  During the course of a weekend, my human existence as I knew it changed. This is exactly what I had been needing, had been waiting for, and was the catalyst for pushing me into the next level of spiritual awakening. I finally knew that my passion would become my purpose. I had read the books, I had listened, I had learned, I had practiced, I had preached and yet something was still missing. That reiki attunement and certification was the missing link. It didn't come sooner because I wasn't ready yet. Everything happens in divine timing and when it is supposed to - it is not up to us. It is only up to us to love, heal, forgive and expand our souls. I was now ready to walk the walk and talk the talk.

I started off practicing reiki periodically on my dogs. I felt drawn to connect with animals more than people. I practiced here and there on my husband and was gaining a tiny bit of confidence but not enough to really want to expand my skills. I knew what I did not want and that was to make reiki a business. I wanted to help people but didn't want to open my own practice with reiki as the focus. What I did find appealing though was distance reiki. With distance reiki, I can open up my awareness and use my intution and guides to lead me without any distraction and without actually touching or hovering over a physical person. One may think that it isn't as powerful as being in the same room and having my hands scan your body and release the energy from the blocked areas. I even had my own doubts, honestly, until today.....

Let's step back in time. 

In 1996, I met a man with which I had an undeniable and instant connection on a soul level. At only 23, it was an incredible and terrifying rush and also totally confusing and maddening. Due to circumstances that have since been forgiven (after a lot of internal healing work), we didn't really speak for over 14 years. In early 2014, we reconnected and then fell apart again for six years. For some reason, over the last few months, Spirit had been nudging me to reach out to this man and I had been resisting. But then two weeks ago, I gave in and reached out to him; not really knowing why.  All I knew was I had ignored that little voice, that gut feeling, my intution before and I had been burned. Since then, I had promised  myself I would never ignore it again. I now knew better.

After catching up, I found that he now has a girlfriend who is a "pure angel" but has "terminal cancer". Without even thinking, I immediately offered up a distance reiki healing session for her. She was familiar with reiki and, while it helped her, it was expensive and she had to stop. I didn't even have time to breathe or process what I had just done and, honestly, who knew if she would even accept or if he would even relay the info. But I offered. 

Ten days later, I received a message from her accepting my reiki love offering.

This morning, I participted in the most emotional and gratifiying exchange of energy as I provided distance reiki to this absolutely loving and beautiful soul who refuses to accept and buy in to western medicine's prognosis for her. What started out as a love offering to a complete stranger, turned into an energy healing and exchange of love with a soul in which I now have an even greater connection than either of us could explain. 

There are no coincidences in this temporary human existence, friends. Listen to your intutition. Listen to that nagging voice telling you to do something even if it doesn't make sense to you at the time. It just might lead you right to your soul's purpose.

I wasn't able to provide energy healing to my dad during his valiant 21-year battle with cancer. I wasn't able to provide energy healing to my grandmother with heart disease or my grandfather as he fought for 15 straight days after being told his heart "exploded".  I wasn't able to provide energy healing to my protector, Prowler, or to my princess, Callie, as cancer quickly took over their precious bodies.  I wasn't able to provide energy healing to the many loved ones who went before me. But I won't look back at what I couldn't provide. I will only look foward to what I can provide now. Every single reiki session that I provide will be in their memory, in their honor, and with their accumulated energy of love guiding my every breath. 

Today's distance reiki session provided so much love and healing to both myself and the recipient. As a result, we raised our individual vibrations and each other's. The enormous amount of love radiating between North Carolina and Colorado for 40 minutes was enough to raise the entire vibration of all that resided between and around that expansive space. That feeling alone is exactly why I was nudged to contact my old friend - not for him but to spread and feel unconditional love. It is no coincidence that it happened now during a time when the Earth is healing and human beings are being forced to rise up or bow out. Nothing in this life is a coincidence; definitely not soul connections. 

So why, reiki? 

Love, that's why. 

Love in service.

Love is always the answer regardless of the question. 

Does worrying make you feel good?

So many humans are consumed with worry. You are probably one of them. I used to be one of them and it used to overwhelm me until almost four years ago (I'll share that story sometime if you're interested). 

Let me ask you something. 
Does worrying make you feel good? 
I haven't met anyone who has ever replied in the affirmative to that question.
So then my next question to you is - so why are you worrying if it doesn't make you feel good? 
Usually the answer I get is something along the lines of "I can't help it." 
What if I told you you're wrong? 

Usually, that is when people blow me off and walk away, end the conversation or, perhaps in this case, will even stop reading this blog post. Your choice, but if you are still reading, congratulations, that means you want to do something to change this behavior and I can help.

Worry comes from a low vibrational state of fear. We all know about the vibrational energy ladder, right? If you don't, then go back and read my blog post from last year(https://winefoodie.blogspot.com/2019/04/love-or-fear.html).

Every emotion we have comes from only one of two places - love or fear. We are born as an extension of God, Source, the Universe in pure love and light.  When our soul begins its human existence is when we are faced with the low vibrational energies and our ego brains start accepting fear. (This is the watered down version - we can talk about subconscious an conscious minds if you want later). Love is our natural state; not fear.

When you find yourself worrying or being anxious, then consciously begin to find a higher vibrational thought. I don't even care what it is. Pizza. Puppies. Balloons. Flowers. Bradley Cooper. Gal Gadot. Whatever instantly gets you away from that vibration. Why is this important? Because, as we know if you read my very first post from a year ago,: (https://winefoodie.blogspot.com/2019/03/we-are-all-energy.html):

We are all energy.
We have thoughts. 
Those thoughts create an emotion/feeling in our bodies. 
That emotion/feeling then creates a vibration.
That vibration is what the Universe responds to with a like vibration.

Within 30 seconds of sending a vibration out to the Universe, it comes right back to us. The process of attracting more of what we are focusing on just takes 30 seconds. (That is the Law of Attraction; not something I created by the way.) So whether you are focusing on puppies or worry and dread you will get it sent right back to you within 30 seconds. Think about that. If you are worrying about getting the coronovirus (or cancer or getting murdered or robbed or in a car accident) and it is consuming your thoughts, then guess what? You are sending that vibration out and literally asking for more of that worry to come to you! Why would you want that to happen? 

Thoughts are powerful. (https://winefoodie.blogspot.com/2019/04/be-careful-what-you-think.html) And guess what? Who do you think is in control of your thoughts? YOU! You are the only one in control of your thoughts. So if you don't like something that you are thinking about, then stop it and change it! Sounds simple? Yeah, that's because it is. Does it happen instantly? Of course not, but with everything else you have learned in your life, the more you consciously practice, the easier it will become. Soon enough, you won't even THINK about worrying because you know that it does absolutely no good! Worrying has on redeeming quality whatsoever!  In fact, all worrying does is make things worse for you and over time it will lead to dis-ease. Yes, your thoughts, if not kept in check, will manifest into physical disease; if it hasn't already. The more you worry, the more you will attract more things for which to worry. It’s a vicious cycle.  

When you are able to accept that you are exactly where you are meant to be at any given moment and that everything is either a blessing or a lesson, it becomes easier to release worry. If worry fixed things, it would be worth a little discomfort but it doesn't fix anything. Worry only causes harm and attracts more worry! 

Next time you find yourself worrying, consciously find a higher vibrational thought. If you are worried about a person, send them love and accept that what they are experiencing is out of your control and part of their journey. When you worry about someone, all you are doing is sending them worry. Wouldn't you rather send them love and encouragement?  If you are worried about an outcome, release the attachment to the outcome and trust all will happen exactly as it is supposed to. How do you do this? By changing the way you think and upon what you place your focus!

If you want to delve deeper, reach out to me and I will personally do my best to assist you. But please understand, I will have expected you to read this blog post along with the other three that I have mentioned in this post first. If and when you are ready to do the work, I'll be more than happy to help you along the path!  My help and encouragement can only go so far though - you have to do the work; I can't do it for you. But I am proof that all of this does work!

While you are taking in this information, let's take a moment and focus on two simple things we can all easily understand and do right now:

1. SMILE. It is hard to be scared and anxious when you smile. So just take a moment right now and smile. Do it. Right now. Wherever you are. Smile. Feels good, doesn't it? You just can't be scared or anxious when you smile - it's not possible.

2. Whenever you are worried or scared, practice gratitude. Put your fear aside and trust that all is well in spite of what may be going on and be grateful. Instantly make "I am grateful for..." statements the minute that you start to feel worried. Don't overthink it - just feel it and speak it out loud.

This is raising the vibration, my friends! Don't give your attention to worry and fear. Don't allow your mind to dwell on the trouble. Smile, be grateful and raise the vibration to that of love - your natural state!

Namaste'

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New Moon Intentions Ritual

We have our first new moon of 2020 this Friday, January 24! New moons are about new beginnings and setting intentions.  New moons offer us the opportunity to reflect on our lives and allow us to be more present. I have blogged about the new moon energy once before and it would be beneficial to read that again at this time:

https://winefoodie.blogspot.com/2019/02/energy-new-moon-and-desires.html

The purpose of this blogpost is to go more in-depth with my particular ritual. You should use whatever ritual YOU feel comfortable with, and drawn to, but many of you have asked recently for specifics, so here it goes!. As time goes on, I find myself using different techniques. Remember, the most important thing is your INTENTION. 

Here are the steps I currently follow:

1.  Speak this new moon intentions prayer out loud:  "I am here to connect with God, Spirit, truth and love. Please make me a channel of your divine wisdom and help me see clearly in all aspects. Help me tune into the greatest good in my heart."

2.  Clear the space with sage or palo santo and state, "Dear God, please clear this space so that my truest intentions can flow clearly from my heart onto the page."

3.  Breathwork is crucial. Breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth. Place one hand on your stomach and one on your heart. Breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth a few times until you feel clear and grounded. When you feel ready, place both hands on your heart and send gratitude to your body.

4.  Journal time. Speak aloud, "This, or something better, now manifests for the highest good of all concerned." and then write no more than 10 statements in positive affirmation language in your journal. It is now where I focus on what I want using, "I am" statements. Don't use "I want" or "I need" statements because it is here when you learn to feel as if you already have what you want. Get to know how it feels and listen to your heart as you write.  If you can feel it with your whole body it is more likely to come into reality. FEEL and KNOW.

5.  After your list is complete, meditate on it for 10-15 minutes (longer if you feel the desire-there is no time limit). Focus on each item and how it feels in your body. Focus on how it will feel once you have manifested it.  Let your attachment go and settle into a curiosity of how it will come true! Then speak out loud, "I am freeing myself from clinging to my wishes and I am grateful and excited for what is to come!" Release what you have just written and move on. You have sent it out to the Universe and it is now out of your hands.

6.  I then put my journal away until next month's new moon. Sometimes, it take a few new moon rituals before manifestation so don't get discouraged. I usually don't even look back at past new moon intentions for months. I have put my intentions out there and they will manifest in divine timing.  When it does manifest, thank God, the Universe, Spirit. If intentions have not manifested, sometimes I revise them based on how I feel at the time.

While during the new moon phase, we don't physically SEE the moon in the night sky, its powerful energy is surrounding us and empowering us to set our intentions and begin the manifestation of our dreams! Between my two blog posts on the new moon, I hope it helps you create your own ritual and encourages you to start setting intentions each month! Feel free to reach out to me with any specific questions or to share your ritual.  

Namaste'

Thinning of the Veil

I always hated Halloween as a kid.  My memories are of being dressed up in costumes such a Wonder Woman, a clown, a scarecrow and a witch and going door to door in my little townhouse neighborhood begging for candy. It really made no sense to me and, before the night was over, I would be scared by someone and hated it. I grew to hate Halloween even more as I grew up because people started using it for evil, in my mind. Razor blades in apples, teenagers stealing younger kids’ treasure, egging and toilet-papering houses. It was just never my thing.

It wasn’t until about six years ago that I was coerced into attending an adult Halloween party and that I actually enjoyed myself. I realized the only reason that I did was because it was at my happy place (wine bar) and I was disguised as Harley Quinn and NO ONE knew it was me. There was a sense of being able to take on a different persona for once in my life and I was 100% into my character.  A few years later, I went to another Halloween party as Catwoman, and again, I was able to delve into the character which was quite gratifying.  Still, Halloween is not my thing. Well, not THAT kind of Halloween.

As years passed, and I began my spiritual journey, Halloween took on a different meaning for me. I still don't enjoy the societal version of Halloween and I never will. But to me, Halloween is all about the thinning of the veil. What does that mean? It means the spiritual world and physical world are the closest they will ever be.  The spirits in Heaven and we, here on Earth, are able to connect much easier because of the veil being thin.  I am always in tune to the spirit world but it has been even easier for going on almost two weeks now.... and it's just going to get easier in the coming days.

It's a magical, yet exhausting, time for me.  The sound of doors creaking open but when you look the door is shut tight and locked. Clanking of dog tags but both dogs in your house are sound asleep and not moving. A phone that has been disconnected for months suddenly faintly rings. Orbs of light dancing on your security camera. Your dog seeing a spirit at the top of the stairs and is staring at it and cocking its head in conversation for a half hour straight. The sound of a baby gate falling to the floor when it is clearly still in place and hasn't moved. Another dog playing with his sister in spirit. A doorbell ringing but no one is there when you open the door. Hearing your name or even a sentence but turning to see that no one is there. Most of these are regular daily occurrences for me but leading up to Halloween it gets intense and more prevalent. 

Some of these things may sound scary to you, but they shouldn't. The thinning of the veil isn't about fear. (Well, it isn't to me.) This is about spirits trying to communicate with us. It takes a tremendous amount of energy for spirits to connect with the physical world. In the same respect, it takes a ton of energy for mediums, such as myself, to connect with spirits. But there is truly nothing more comforting than to hear from your loved ones who have left their physical bodies. (Or, in my case, being able to relay messages to you from your loved ones in spirit.) If you do encounter a spirit that is annoying or you do not want around, then very sternly but nicely tell them they are not welcome and they must leave. I have found that this works the majority of the time. If it doesn't, then you'll want to smudge the area with sage. 

I try to make the placing of a protective shield around me part of my daily morning routine, but during this time of year it is absolutely necessary, especially if you are purposely trying to connect with spirits or are an empath.  Here's a simple article for you to read that explains it pretty well: https://backpackerverse.com/white-light-protection/

So when you are dressing up your kiddos to go trick or treating or donning the unique costume you are so proud of this year, remember what Halloween is really about to me (and to many others who just may not be admitting it). It is about connecting with spirits.  Be aware, be open. There are signs and synchronicities everywhere.   Your parents, your grandparents, your friends, your cousins, your spouses, your pets - they are trying to let you know they are still around and with you. All you have to do is pay attention and honor their presence. 

Time to take back my power

Positive attracts positive.
Focus on what you want; not what you don't want.
Worry comes from fear and we need to vibrate higher - from a place of love always.
What we resist persists.
Do not give fuel to something that we fear or we will manifest it.
We have the power to heal our own bodies by addressing and healing our core wounds.
WE are in control.

I know this. I teach this. I preach this.
I have helped numerous others along these lines, almost daily. But I am struggling right now.
It is affecting me personally and I am trying to figure out why I am coming from a place of fear - a state of worry and anxiety.  I have flipped the switch. I have told myself what I tell others daily. I KNOW that everything will be fine. I KNOW that this is part of my journey and whatever the outcome is is part of the path that I have chosen in this temporary human existence. So what am I scared of? Why am I afraid? What would I tell someone else if they came to me with these concerns?

Well, I would say, "What are you afraid of? What exactly is the source of your fear? Why does this truly scare you?"  Get to the heart of the matter - the bare bones. The basics.

I am not afraid of dying. Death has never been something I have feared. But I am not ready to die. I still have so much to do and experience and share. If it's my time, then so be it, but I'd rather it not be. I do not want to leave my mom, my baby girl or my Hubs. I don't want them to mourn me at only 45 years old.

I haven't left my mark on this world yet. I am just beginning. In this past year, I have just started to share my journey and it is not only helping me to heal but it is making a huge difference in the lives of others.

Those words were written on August 8. 

*******************

On July 12, I had a routine annual mammogram. On August 6, I had a follow up mammogram and ultrasound performed. When I got the call that a biopsy was the next step, that's when the anxiety truly kicked in. In a sheer panic, I contacted my spiritual mentor, Ilona, for help. I had been listening to my own advice but it wasn't working as well as it should. I knew what I needed to do but the fear was starting to take over and I needed to get it under control. She was the only one who could truly help me.

We manifest dis-ease. Yes, we are in control of our bodies and what happens.  Every single ailment that we have is a result of something that has not been healed. Dis-ease. That hyphen is supposed to be there. It's not disease. It's dis-ease.

I never once thought that I had cancer. In fact, I knew that I did not but my ego brain kept taking over and putting fear in my mind. The fear of "what if". The fear of the unknown. The source of this dis-ease was not cancer. It was something else that had manifested in this part of my body - the feeling of being unloved and the fact that I was putting everyone else before myself. I had done this to myself. I know I am loved. Don't you ever question that for a minute. The problem is that I am so focused on fixing/helping/healing everyone else that I am not taking time to focus on myself. I am in a work environment where I am not appreciated or respected and I am putting myself in an environment that is not aligned with love and it is manifesting inside of me as a physical problem.

So what do I need to do in this instance? Take my power back. Stop putting everyone else first. That doesn't mean be selfish. That means align with my truth and only accept things that align with me. It means stop accepting bad behavior from others. It means start treating myself the way I want others to treat me. It means stop allowing others to vent and moan and complain and talk negative about others to me. If it doesn't align with love, then it's time to walk away. Once I start taking my power back, I will be free of this dis-ease. Ok, so I got this. Makes perfect sense. I mean I can't even begin to explain to you how hard this slapped me across the face.

But that ego brain kept rearing its ugly head. And when it did, I tried my best to push it away. Leading up to the next test was difficult though. I tried to stay busy. I kept my mind off it as much as I could. I meditated, I was grateful for a body that was cancer free and I filled my thoughts with positivity. The worst part was not wanting to go through another test when I KNEW what was wrong with me and it wouldn't be anything that shows up on a test anyway. So why did I have to go through this nonsense? Well, what if there IS something wrong though? What if it IS cancer after all?

So on August 27, I had a breast biopsy done. I know there is nothing wrong with me and I even told the doctor that I knew that but let's go ahead and stick me in a archaic contraption while three different people poke, prod, compress, and stick me over and over and over for an hour anyway. The doc and nurses were actually really amazing and comforting. One actually held my hand or rubbed my back the entire time and told me step by step what was happening. She gave me hope for humanity again. My dad, grandmother, grandfather and Sheila all wrapped up in one came through in this beautiful compassionate soul named Carrie.

I wouldn't wish that experience on anyone. The physical discomfort was enormous but the emotional nightmare that was racing through my mind at the same time was even worse.

What the hell is happening? 
Why am I going through this? 
How did this happen? 
What did I do to deserve this? 
What if I have cancer? 
Daughters of fathers who have prostate cancer are more likely to get breast cancer. I know these stats but they are just stats and that means nothing. The cycle stops with me and now! Right?
If I have cancer, there is no way I'm going through chemo and I'm not having surgery. 
I don't want to be sick. 
I'm getting married soon. 
I am making my dreams of living at the beach come true. 
I am at a place in my life where I am finally at peace with everything and am truly content and happy.
What if I do have cancer though? How much time will I have? I will go even more hard core on my eating habits. I'll give up wine. Yep, I sure will.
I can't leave Nami. I promised her I'd never leave her.
Ouch, damn, that hurts. Is this over yet?
Am I ok? Of course, I'm not ok
So why is this happening? How did I even get here?

The procedure was over and then I had to wait 4 to 5 days for my doctor to call me with results. I didn't need the doc to call me because I already knew the results. I did NOT have cancer, damnit! I didn't care what they said or did to me - I just knew that I didn't have cancer. What I did have was a lot of pain and an ice pack in my bra. Fun times.  And the color pink everydamnwhere. I hate the color pink.  I cried uncontrollably on the way home. I screamed and I laughed.  I had all the possible emotions come flooding at once.  I couldn't sleep that night because I couldn't get comfortable and then that made me cry because of why.

The ego brain thoughts would surface every so often but I would squash them as the days went by. The physical pain subsided which helped and one day I woke up and actually felt good. But then something absolutely disrespectful and down right mean and hurtful happened to a dear friend of mine and guess what happened? The pain came back tenfold. That is when I knew for sure. I did NOT have cancer physically but this was a wake up call. If I didn't remove myself from the situation that was causing this dis-ease, it would soon manifest into real cancer.

On August 29 at 11:37 a.m. my phone rang. It was my doctor's office. I held my breath, said a quick prayer, took a deep cleansing breath, composed myself and answered. It was the nurse calling. My biopsy results had come back BENIGN. I thanked her profusely, hung up and cried with relief.

Now, it was time to change my life once and for all. I have received way too many signs but this one... this one... was different.  Every day, from that moment forward, I will make sure to come from a place of love and gratitude while always aligning with and speaking my truth. I AM in control and it is time to take back my power.