Reflections on Day 10

It seems in life when we make drastic changes it's when something happens that nudges us or, in some instances, even pushes us over the edge. We often need reality to slap us in the face in order to make a change. Hopefully, it's not too late by the time that revelation occurs. I've had a few nudges over the last two-three years but evidently not enough to take any severe steps. I cut down portion sizes. I tried to cut out desserts (which is difficult when my mom is visiting). I started juicing in the morning. I consciously drank more water. I even stopped drinking beer for a month (who knew that would even be a problem - I'm a wine girl). It wasn't until this past March, when I had my mandatory biometrics screening done for work, that I finally got my push over the edge.

I'm very big into natural healing. I do not like taking medicine. I have always felt that food can heal and that IF my health ever warranted help, that I would always go the food route first. I preached this to my father and almost begged him to change his diet instead of going on chemo when that was the only option left for treating his prostate cancer, but he wouldn't budge. That was his choice. Now, it's MY choice to make. No time to be a hypocrite now, girl!

I am an "all or nothing" kind of person. Once I have decided that I want to commit to something then I am all in - 100 percent. If I don't do it in that way, then I know that I won't have the will power to see it through. I know that I will cave under pressure or under stress. I knew that transitioning into this lifestyle would not be beneficial. I needed to jump in and hit the ground running. I also knew that it wouldn't be easy but if after these 30 days I felt better and saw positive results, then the struggle would be worth every single second. If I don't see the results I need and nothing really changes, then at least I did every possible thing I could and I did it the right way.  I won't have to wonder.

Almost three weeks after my biometrics screening, I had extensive bloodwork done this morning. If nothing else, this will serve as a baseline but hopefully will show some trending downward after 10 days of strict WFPB (whole food plant based) eating. I'll find out in about two weeks. What I found out this morning though is that I have lost five pounds and THAT is definitely a motivating factor to keep pushing me forward in this challenge. It is obviously working. The NP asked me how I was feeling and as I told her that I was really tired all the time I instantly remembered that I have been in the kitchen cooking/baking the last two nights until almost 11pm.  Wait a minute. Maybe, I AM getting more energy and didn't even realize it. Usually I wouldn't even want to get up off the sofa after dinner each night except to go downstairs to go to bed by 10pm. I'm not staying in the kitchen this late because I have to. I'm doing it because I want to.  Maybe things ARE improving after all....

When I commit to something, I almost become obsessed. I'm a sponge and just search and search for information and resources to gain more knowledge. I listen to others and their journeys. Some I commiserate with; some I do not.  So many of my friends can't believe I'm doing this and say things such as, "I couldn't do it." or "No way I could give up meat" or "Wow, I don't know how you're doing this" or "You can't have cheese or ice cream? No way!"

I don't know how I'm doing it either and most days I don't want to do it anymore but I have to. It was kind of like that marriage when I knew it was over. I wanted to just call it quits and send him off to rot in that bitter hell where he belonged but I couldn't. Well, not without trying first.  I had to know that I did all I possibly could. I had to see if there was any chance that I could make it work because if I didn't I'd always wonder. I don't like living with regrets and when I actually have a choice then I'm going to make the best one for me. We don't always have choices in life so I need to embrace them when I can.

It's the same way with this WFPB eating lifestyle. I know this way of eating works. It even makes sense. I have seen it work for others. I just need to find out if it works for me. I have to try. It may work and completely change my life. But then again, it may not. Regardless, I have to try because if I don't I'll never know and not knowing is something I just can't accept.