Val, the Virtual Bachelorette

It's not easy being single. Wait, it wasn't easy being married either. Hmmm.. maybe life just isn't easy.

I've learned a lot in love over the last 20 years. Turning 40 changed everything. No, it didn't make me think half of my life is over, or that I'm old. In fact, it did the exact opposite. It gave me a newfound excitement in my life. A sense of accomplishment. I became more energetic, and less tolerant. Less tolerant of nonsense, that is. I know what I want and I don't settle anymore. I'd rather be alone than with someone just so I'm not alone.  There's a difference in being alone and being lonely. There's also a difference in needing someone and wanting someone. I don't need someone, but I do want someone to share my life.

I'm a hopeless romantic, that is for sure. I'm not sappy and sickening sweet, but I love romance.  However, I am picky and don't want romance with just anyone. I want it to be with the right one. I've been in love before and there's no feeling like it.  Oh, if I could only bottle it!

I've always watched the tv shows, "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette". Not necessarily because I believe in it as much as I am entertained by it. I have often joked that I should be the next Bachelorette but I wouldn't run all over the world to exotic places where anyone could fall in love just by sheer location. But I would make it a real life Bachelorette show. Let my suitors come to MY town and meet my family and friends, meet Prowler, know what it's like to be with me on a daily basis. Go to my happy place, do things that I like to do on a daily basis. Then the "special" dates could be places not too far but out of the general area of where I live - A trip to Virginia Beach maybe or the mountains in West Virginia - something that was within 4 or 5 hours so drive.  Considering that won't happen, I decided to go a different route - for entertainment if nothing else. Also because I seem to be bored a lot lately. I love my family. I love my Evil Red Genius. I love my soul sister. I have amazing friends. But some days I just want to have that special someone to spend time with too. It's a different kind of relationship and a connection that has been lacking for quite a while.

I don't go to clubs. I don't hang out in bars. I'm not flashy and I don't go out searching for a man. I joke that unless he's going to randomly show up in my backyard one night or run into my grocery cart at Wegmans at 8am on a Sunday morning, I probably won't find him. I don't go to church regularly and forget about dating someone at work. Tried that - sometimes it works; sometimes it doesn't. Bottom line is I can't spend 24/7 with someone. A girl needs a break and a life of her own too! It's all about balance.

So in April, I bit the bullet and joined an online dating site. After two weeks I was frustrated and ready to call it quits. I was so replused by the vulgar and downright rude messages I was receiving. I was irritated that I spent so much time filling out the questions, picking out good pictures and writing up a profile to only get men that were oblivious to what I was looking for - or even worse, didn't care what I was looking for. Ironically, sounding like every "Bachelorette", I was surrounded by guys that "weren't here for the right reasons." I was very selective in who I would actually meet and even did extensive research on them before I met them in person. I had no chemistry in person with one of them but we stayed friends and still chat every so often. The other was a wonderful date (he even said so and suggested that we go on another) but it was over and I never heard a word from him again. It wasn't long after that when I called it quits. This was just not working for me.

Well, call me a glutton for punishment, a sucker, or just plain bored, but last weekend, I decided to go back online. This time I was going to redo my profile, change some pictures and have a brand new approach in how I treated the experience. This time I was going to take it as pure entertainment, have fun with it, not become obsessed, not take it too seriously and just see what happens. If nothing else, maybe I can meet some new and interesting people. I also learned how to filter out messages from "losers" - hence, the ones that didn't pay attention to my wants, interests and dealbreakers.  This has helped tremendously because now I don't even see their messages unless I purposely go looking for them.

In a matter of five days time, I have definitely been entertained and I have a few potential suitors; two of which I have agreed to meet in person. Let's see who can make the cut.  I won't be giving out roses though; maybe wine corks. Yeah, wine corks to those who have survived the first date with the TinyWineGirl and are worthy of having a second.

Let the fun begin.....

"My weaknesses have always been food and men—in that order."
—Dolly Parton