Holy Cow, It's Vegan!

A few days ago, my dear friend and I attended a special wine dinner event which benefitted the Outer Banks SPCA. What better combination!! Wine and dogs. Seriously. Right up my alley.

As if that wasn't enough, this event was put on at one of my favorite restaurants, The Salt Box Café, owned and operated by two of the most down-to-earth, compassionate human beings I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. True food geniuses.

Hubs and I love the Salt Box. It's a tiny little place off the beaten path where your taste buds are awakened and taken on an adventure every time you take a bite.  The brunch is top notch, the lunches are like no other and the dinners set the bar so high that no one on my barrier island could ever come close to a match. We have been fortunate enough over the last two years to frequent the Salt Box quite often and are grateful to call this husband and wife team our friends.

I often tell Chefs Randolph and Amanda that I try food at their restaurant that I would never even contemplate trying anywhere else. Not only do I try it, but I am amazed each and every time because not only is the presentation strikingly beautiful, but the taste is pure magic. When I don't know what I want to eat, I often pick the most unique item on the menu or we ask Chef Randolph to surprise us.

Well, The Salt Box Cafe did it again. Without a second thought, I knew I needed to be at this wine dinner. I have gone to their wine dinners before and am always in awe. But this one was different. This one was all vegan.

Yep, vegan.

No meat. That doesn't bother me that much really.

No dairy. No cheese. That instantly makes me sad.

I am not a vegan but I joke with Chef Amanda that if anyone could turn me vegan it would be her. I have purposely chosen vegan dishes off of the Salt Box menu in the past as my meal selection and have been floored by the incredible flavor each time. So, to say I was excited and intrigued by attending a vegan wine dinner was an understatement.

 Oh yeah, and all of the dishes were paired with a vegan wine from the Yalumba Winery Y Series.

Yalumba Winery is in the southern part of Australia in the Barossa Valley wine region.

Course One: Roasted Beef Carpaccio

white bean avocado hummus/cumin/chili/lime

Beets. I hate beets.

I hate the texture. I hate the smell. I hate the taste.

When I see a beet, I instantly am reminded of my grandmother cooking them in a big pot on the stove at our summer cottage at Colonial Beach. They smelled up the whole place and it was wretched.

She and Dad loved them and we'd get fresh ones from Mr. Hicks who had a garden right behind us. Bleh.

When I saw beets and tomatoes on a plate with an avocado hummus, I instantly thought, why ruin the avocado and tomatoes with these evil things? To my surprise, this dish was simply mouth-watering delicious. The combination of the beet, tomato and avocado together was just divine.

This yumminess was paired with a Vermentino which upon first sniff reminded me of an Alsatian wine. That hint of petroleum on the nose does it every time. Very crisp and clean - reminiscent of a Sauvignon Blanc, actually, without the overbearing grapefruit disgustingness. (Yes, that's a word. Ok, maybe not, but it should be.)

The beet carpaccio toned down the Vermentino quite a bit.

Excellent pairing.

Course Two:  Korean BBQ Cauliflower

pickled nappa cabbage/spiced peanuts

I hate cauliflower.

I especially hate the texture and don't think that it has any taste at all.

(I'm seeing an early theme that I'm not sure I like here.) 

But, the beets surprised me so maybe the little white trees would as well.

I do use riced cauliflower in the place of rice in some dishes but again, overall it's just pretty bland.

One bite of this dish and .....WOW!

I could have eaten 100 more of these spicy little nuggets of love. In fact, I'd wager to say this was my favorite dish of the night. The pickled cabbage, the crunchy nuts with a little kick and the BBQ flavoring on the cauliflower.....pure deliciousness.

This dish was paired with a Riesling that honestly didn't have much aroma at all. However, it was just the right balance of dry and sweet and simply delightful with the course. If an orange and a lemon had a baby, it would be this wine. Very refreshing. I could seriously enjoy this on a 90-degree day while on a boat, loving the fact that I live at the beach.

As my wine partner-in-crime said, upon first sip of this wine, "That's my porch!"

Indeed.

Course Three: Miso Glazed Eggplant "Scallop"

ginger, soy and coconut risotto/charred shishito peppers

I love scallops. I sear them as a special treat and just melt away in the goodness.

This dish was pleasing to the eye and while I love scallops, I wasn't sure if I'd like "scallop".

Well, guess what? I did!

The eggplant wasn't mushy as it usually is after it's cooked. Perhaps when I cook eggplant, I don't do something right. I've had miso soup before and could actually taste a really nice hint of miso in this dish. The risotto was the star of the show and I could have shoveled a big ole bowl of it down!

This dish was paired with a Sauvignon Blanc and I am happy to say it did not smell or taste like a typical Sav Blanc. No grapefruit overload!! Yay! It had an aroma of fresh cut limes and, upon first sip, I instantly wanted a lemon cookie. After taking a bite of "scallop", the wine lingered with a flowery aftertaste. 

 Very nice pairing.

Course Four:  Mango Chickpea Curry

smoked basmati rice/mint coconut yogurt

I like mangos. I like chickpeas. I love Indian curry.

There was nothing wrong with this dish but it did not "wow" me as the previous ones had. Perhaps, that's why I realized, upon blogging, that I didn't take a photo of this course

Oh well.

Instead, let's focus on the wine that was paired with this dish.

Viognier.

(Vee-on-yay)

Years ago, a friend of mine who is a master sommelier referred to a Viognier as a "Chardonnay that couldn't". I always remember that because I tend to agree.

I don't hate Viogniers. I just wouldn't ever choose one.

Yalumba's Y Series Viognier changed my mind.

Had I not know this was a Viognier, I would have sworn it was a Chardonnay.

It smelled of butter and oak. This was the first wine of the night that I took my time before I even took a single sip. The aroma was so enjoyable that I just didn't want to stop inhaling it. I haven't had wine like that in a while.
Once I did take a sip, I was even happier. Toasted bread. Very balanced.

There is no way this is a Viognier. Maybe it was labeled incorrectly.

Hands down, the best wine of the night regardless.

Course Five:  Green Lentil Pate with Toasted Crostini

portabello mushrooms/tomato demi

This is the course where you would normally have a filet or a venison tenderloin or even elk.

But I was eating lentils and mushrooms instead.

I never thought I'd say it, but it was pretty damn yummy. 

 Mushrooms are my friends.

I never ate them as a kid but that's probably because my parents didn't like them (or were scared of them) so they didn't keep them around. I'm not sure when I first had a mushroom but I know I really  enjoy them now and cook with them quite often.

I have to admit, I'm not sure about lentils. What exactly is a lentil? I'm not sure. I know it's a legume. Legume is a fun word to say. But other than that, I don't think I've ever had a lentil before tonight.  Would I have known it was a lentil if not told? Nope. Will I seek out lentils now? Nope.

Was this entire combination flavorful and a perfect bite? Sure was.

Yalumba's Cabernet Sauvignon was paired with this course and while it was jammy and smelled of tobacco and spice, it was a lot lighter Cab than I would choose. 

I love Cabs. Big, meaty, complex, chewy Cabs.

 This was extremely light and enjoyable, but just not my kind of Cab.

If I don't feel like I need to scrape the roof of my mouth, then it's not my Cab.

Course Six:  Date and Nut Fudge Brownie

coconut whip/dark chocolate ganache/hazelnuts/almonds/hibiscus

Hubs and I enjoy desserts but we try not to eat them much. I am doing my best to cut back or even cut out my sugar intake completely. But the one time we splurge on dessert is when we go to the Salt Box because Chef Amanda is a dessert Goddess.

Chef Amanda had me at chocolate, coconut and hazelnut with this course.

The richness of the ganache balanced perfectly with the lightness of the coconut whip and a hint of sweet from the hibiscus. The nuts gave the perfect crunch to top off this lovely dessert!

A typical Aussie Shiraz was paired with dessert. The Shiraz smelled of roasted tomatoes with cherry glaze on top and its taste reminded me of a dessert wine. Way too sweet for me but a wonderful pairing with this decadent dessert.

I have often thought about removing meat from my diet and I have successfully cut back from what I used to eat. When I truly think about it, it would be very easy to do - for health reasons and to honor my love for animals. Going completely plant-based or vegan is something that would prove more challenging to me but if the Sprinkle Chefs keep making this kind of food taste this incredible, it may not be so difficult after all!

"People who love to eat are always the best people." — Julia Child

Silk, my A*#!

"Try something new", she says.
"Branch out", she says.

I took my own advice today and bought this bottle of wine for under $10. I can't tell you the last time I bought a wine under $25 so this was a huge stretch for me. Not only was it under $10 but it was at Safeway.

As I was cooking dinner for me and mom tonight, I opened this bottle of Menage a Trois Silk. I am almost embarrassed to say I bought this wine considering what I am used to drinking but, honestly, I'll give anything a chance!

I swirled, I sniffed. Hmmm.. I swirled again...... vigorously.
I inhaled.
Dark plums and lilacs

I sipped. It burned a bit and a tasted a tad bit medicinal and like licorice. Yep, licorice. I hate licorice.
Disappointed.
But.... I left it alone and waited 20 minutes.
Rotten plums rolled in sand and then dipped in Listerine. Yep, that's it.

I feel like I'm a victim of false advertising.
Silk .
Silk makes me think of smooth. Satin sheets. Cashmere. The fur of an alpaca.
Seriously. Have you ever pet an alpaca? Softest, most beautiful fur ever. I want an alpaca and have for years but they cost too much. $22 grand.
Yeah, I know they spit. But only if you make them mad. Don't make them mad.
But I digress.

Silk
Really?
Who came up with this name?
Maybe it's smooth like a newborn baby's bottom. But really, I don't need my wine to taste like a newborn baby's bottom. I like funk. But barnyard funk  -not baby funk. This isn't even funky. Seriously? Silk?

Ok.. hold on Tiny Wine Girl. Make this a learning experience. You've spent $10 on lesser things.

I kept swirling. I kept sipping. I kept cooking.
I turned on the radio.
Old Dominion. One of my favorite bands.
All of a sudden, the wine was tolerable.
I was sipping. I was singing. I was dancing. I was smiling.

When a bottle of wine makes you think......

I Iove Chardonnay.

The big oaky kind.

Toasted coconut and vanilla notes; even hazelnut undertones

Not butter though.

I don't need to drink (or eat, for that matter) a stick of butter.

I have also come to appreciate unoaked Chardonnays.

"Silver" by Mer Soleil is one that is reasonably priced that I enjoy.

 When it comes to unoaked ones, I always have to have food though.

Usually seafood. Steamed mussels, to be exact, pair wonderfully with Silver.

After two days of monsoon-like rain and gloomy days,

I was on my way out the door to go shopping, and asked the hubs (also known as my favorite guy) to throw a Chardonnay in the fridge so it would be ready upon my return.

He chose a 2015 A to Z Chardonnay that was easily accessible in our kitchen wine rack.

A to Z is one of my favorite Pinot Noir wineries - located in Oregon, of course.

So, why drink a Chardonnay if it's known for Pinot Noir?

Why even buy it in the first place?

Good question. I wanted to take a chance.

I like to live on the edge.

Brace yourself.

This 2015 vintage is very light, crisp and definitely unoaked. 

It is also very light in color; almost clear.

At first whiff, there is a hint of petroleum

and then melon, honey dew and white flowers take over.

There is a definite floral aroma.

However, there is no way I'd ever think this wine was a Chardonnay.

It is more reminiscent of a Pinot Gris but, of course, that makes sense coming from Oregon.

The Pinot Gris grape definitely finds itself at home growing in Oregon. The climate and geology are similar to the regions of Burgundy and Alsace in France where the grape originated.

With a clean, crisp taste, citrus flavors appear. 

 Lemon perhaps but thankfully, not enough to make you pucker.

The floral aromas tend to appear in the taste as well.... and fruit.... maybe pear or apricot.

Wait, wet stone. That's it.

Wet stone.

Yep, this wine tastes like little white flowers draped over stones at the edge of a river bed.

Even though this wine doesn't taste like a typical unoaked Chardonnay to me, it surely wasn't a waste. I don't know that I'd purchase it again but it definitely was worth trying.

I believe I would have enjoyed it more had I prepared seared scallops, Crab Norfolk or even shrimp scampi. It would work nicely as an ingredient in those dishes, being sipped as I prepared those dishes or as a chaser to each bite of those dishes!

It never hurts to try a different wine.

You like what you like - that's my mantra in wine tasting.

However, there's no reason to get stuck with certain ones.

Branch out, live a little. Try new wines. You just may find something extraordinary.

But if you don't, that's ok too - at least you tried.  

The more you try, the more you'll be able to pinpoint what it is you like (or don't like) about certain wines.

Hmm... wait a minute - that sounds very similar to new relationships.

You're bored, want to try something new.

The "label" is intriguing at first glance so you take it home with you and figure it's worth trying.

After opening the bottle, you realize it's not exactly what you like

but it's better than nothing at this point.

So, you go ahead and pour yourself a glass.

A little tart, not what you're used to, maybe even comes on a little too strong at first.

It doesn't really set well with you but you might as well give it a chance.

It could get better. It could grow on you.

You try to appreciate it for what it is and not what you wish it could be.

Yeah, I remember those days.

They are not necessarily fond memories either.

Thankfully, I don't have to worry about that nonsense any more...

.......in regard to men or wine.

“There are thousands of wines that can take over our minds.

Don't think all ecstasies are the same!”
― Jalaluddin Mevlana Rumi

My wine blog muse

It's been quite a while since I've blogged about wine. It's been quite a while since I have felt like writing or even drinking much wine.

Wait, what? How can that be, you ask?

Yeah, I know. Earth shattering news. 

A lot has happened in my world over the past year or so.  Some of it fantastic. Some of it not so much. But regardless, I lost my mojo. It was swallowed up and eaten alive. I was beginning to wonder if  it would ever return.

Tonight, thanks to my dad, I may have gotten it back. 

My parents are my best friends. My dad was always my "plus one" when it came to going to my happy place, wineries or just sharing a bottle of wine (or 2 or 3); most of the time accompanied by laughs, deep conversation and music. 

I'm saying in this in the past tense because Dad and I haven't been able to enjoy a bottle of wine together for quite a long time. Dad was battling a recurrence of prostate cancer and the effects of chemotherapy devastated his physical body. On November 24 at 7:40 a.m. with my mom, myself and the love of my life by his side, my dad took his last breath. A week and a day later, I am completely heartbroken, lost and often in a state of disbelief. He may be physically gone which is the hardest part right now but I know that my dad is still with me and always will be. I just can't find complete solace in that fact just yet.

This evening, I decided to order take-out from our happy place. I walked into the wine bar and returned the tray that was filled with Mediterranean Pasta graciously presented to us from the owners after Dad died. I was greeted with a loving hug from Dan, then a tear-filled squeeze of love from my Rachel, adoring words and hugs from my darling Aliki and a gentle shoulder to lean on from Neil.  I saw Arthur, the owner, who was excited to see me as always. He expected me to do the Saturday night tasting but I just couldn't bring myself to partake. Why? Because it was the annual J.Lohr tasting and Dad and I always participated together.  Arthur and I stood in an understanding silence after hugging and me stating that it wasn't the same - that I expected Dad to be at my side. 

Everywhere I turned at my happy place, I saw my dad.

It was OUR happy place and now it was a little less happy. No, a lot less happy. 

I picked up my food and proceeded to the parking lot where I got into my Jeep Wrangler and cried all the way back to my parents' house. 

As I walked into my parents house, I sat next to my mom on the sofa and just bawled like a baby. Then I got up and started getting our dinner together. I went downstairs to pick out a wine from my dad's wine rack because I just wanted one glass with dinner.

Knowing exactly what is in my dad's wine racks, because we have opened quite a few in the last couple of days with family and friends stopping by, I knew there were only two red wines left - a Chambourcin and a Tempranillo. I didn't want either but I figured one glass wouldn't kill me and I needed a red. 

All of a sudden, I pulled out a bottle and it was a Pinot Noir from Germany.

Wait. What? I had to look again.

No, I wasn't seeing things. You've got to be kidding me. 

No, of course. It makes perfect sense. 

Let me explain. 

Two days ago, it was a beautiful 68 degree day in late November and Mom and I needed to get out of the house so we took my sweet Nami and went to our happy place to sit outside and have lunch. After we ate, I went inside and wanted to check out the wines for sale. I was looking for a Merlot from Columbia Valley (b/c that was Dad's all-time favorite) and while I found one,I also found this really unique bottle - a German Pinot Noir from Mosel. 

Dad always looked for German wines and if they came from Mosel, they were even more special to him. Most of the Mosel wines we found, though, were Rieslings. While Dad loved Rieslings, unless it's a stinky Alsace one, I tend to not be a fan. 

There was no doubt, I HAD to buy this one. A Pinot (or Pignot as he would jokingly call it)- which Dad and I often enjoyed together - AND from Mosel? Totally going home with me to the beach for a special occasion!

Fast forward to tonight. 

I come home, sobbing uncontrollably, search through Dad's wine rack for something fathomable. 

To my surprise, I find this EXACT same wine. 

Yeah, exactly. 

Thanks, Daddy. 

Coming from an Oregon Pinot Noir snob, yeah, that's me, I was pleasantly surprised at this wine. 

But as I say that, I think, this makes perfect sense. Dad knew what a tough time I had going to our happy place without him so he made sure that I had something to smile about when I returned to his home without him. I didn't even care if this wine would pair well with my meal; I was drinking it. 

A rusty, brick-colored red, this wine has an aroma of burnt ripe red/black berries and a hint of flowers. Upon first sip, I wouldn't have believed this was a Pinot - it was a bit tangy, a bit smoky, a bit fruity and a strong finish of slate. After tasting the wine, I read the label on the back of the bottle and what's the first thing that it says it will pair well with? Lamb.

What did I take home from my happy place for dinner?

My second favorite special.... Lamb youvetsi. 

So I ate my lamb youvetsi, I drank my glass of Mosel Pinot, and I'm watching Ohio State play in the Big 10 college football championship, in my dad's spot on my dad's sofa....

without him..... 

Well, not really. 

So much has changed.....

She was 10 years old. No, wait, that’s what she always says. But now that I think about it and do the math, she had to have been 11. It was summer and her grandfather died the November after she turned 11. Wait, maybe she was 12 because it would have been the following summer. Damn, she's too pretty to do math. At least that’s what a previous boss told her and she's just gonna go with that. 

Regardless of the actual number, it was the awkward stage of her life – middle school years, of course – the worst three years of her life. She had a body wave in her hair and big round glasses that she hated.  She remembers being tall and skinny and not a bit shapely. Reminiscent of a baby giraffe perhaps. That turquoise one piece with black splotches was something else.... some things you wish you just didn't remember yet are so blatantly clear.  

She remembers that quaint summer cottage as if it was yesterday. A maroon/brown color with dark paneling (knotty pine perhaps?) inside and a crow’s nest on top which she used as her “getaway”.  They were about two blocks from the ocean but she could see it from that crow’s nest and that’s where all was right with her world, even if just for a second. She remembers her parents, her grandmother and her dad’s parents being there on vacation with them that week. Oddly enough, she doesn't remember any restaurants or stores or special places she visited. She just knows that this middle school ugly duckling didn’t feel like she belonged anywhere in the world until she came here. This is the only place on earth where she felt an instant source of peace and belonging.

As a young girl, she would daydream about being there with the man of her dreams. Years went by and boys came and went but none of them were "him".  As she got older, she continued to vacation there and would even visit for long weekends with a girl friend in what became her favorite time of year, Fall. September and October became her months of choice for beach adventures. The tourists were home getting ready for winter, the restaurants were still open but with no waits, rentals were cheaper and fishermen and people with dogs were pretty much all that roamed the beach. This truly was her heaven on earth. Even into her 30s she would still cross that bridge and her blood pressure would  instantly drop, she'd let out a deep sigh and pure contentment  would surround her. So much has changed since then. Yet so much remains the same.

That pre-teen's innocence is gone. But so are those ugly glasses, big hair and skinny legs. Boney Maroney is no more. That one piece turned into a bikini which is now usually a tank and shorts. Her grandmother is gone, her dad's father is gone and her dad's mother is hanging on by a thread. Her parents are aging and, well, so is she.

She now lives in her heaven on earth thanks to finally finding "him". It's been nine months and she still shakes her head in disbelief and awe.  Instead of annual vacations with her parents, they now come visit and stay at her house.  Her house. The house she shares with the man of her dreams. The house where she can see the ocean and the sunrise from the top level. The house which backs up to a golf course and a backyard which serves as her private oasis as the sun is setting.


She sees life differently now.
She gave up an almost six-figure job for barely 30 grand. 
She gave up independence and self-sufficiency for reliance on another human being for the first time since she was a child.
She lost her two-year old, "paid off" Cherokee in an accident which could have proved fatal and in turn got a reality check and a Jeep Wrangler.
She lost her best friend to cancer after only three short months of their dreams of living at the beach together became reality.
She gave up her comfort zone of friends and the only place she's ever known as home.


But she gained so very much in return.
She knows even more than she did before what is important in life.
She knows that every moment is precious. Every. Single. Moment.
She tries not to take things for granted.
She loves with every ounce of who she is and tries to live with no regrets.


That 10 year old little girl is now 43.
So much has changed.
Yet so much remains the same.

This too shall pass

When you were a child, perhaps you moved around a lot. Maybe your family was in the military. I always imagined it would be hard on the kid - always being the new kid in school or the neighborhood. Trying to fit in but not act like you're trying to fit in.

Maybe you even came into school in the middle of the school year. Maybe it was during middle school which is already an awkward time anyway. Maybe you had a different style; wore different clothes than what was supposedly "cool" at the time.  Maybe you had an accent because you came from a different area of the country. There were cliques already established.  The cheerleaders don't want to include her even though she was captain at her last school because she's friends with "that girl". The jocks don't want anything to do with him unless it's to copy off of him in Math class.  Why does she wear her hair like THAT? Why does he have THOSE shoes on?

Most of the time, though, there isn't even a reason that kids are mean. You're different. You're new. You're just being you but that is enough to upset their status quo. Perhaps they are jealous of you. Perhaps they have some sort of social anxiety and being mean is their defense mechanism. Perhaps they are trying to impress someone else. Perhaps they are just naturally unhappy.

Maybe you can relate. Unfortunately, I bet many of you can.

What is even worse though? Being able to relate to that behavior as an adult.

I need a job - a full time permanent job. I need a steady paycheck. I need employer-provided health insurance. I need to feel like I'm making a difference in my community. I need to give back.

I don't need to be looked down upon by a waitress because I work in the retail section of the same establishment. I don't need to be given the side eye and pushed aside when I am introduced. I don't need to be talked down to as if I am a puppy who just had an accident in the house. I don't need that tone of voice either.  I definitely don't need it from someone who treats good-paying customers in the same unacceptable manner.

Yes, I need a job. Yes, the idea of working there was ideal. Yes, the perks were nice. Yes, the super short commute was nice. Yes, it was actually enjoyable to cross paths with a few of the staff members. Yes, it was the only job offer I've had in almost two months. But....

No, it's not worth maybe (if I'm lucky) two four-hour shifts a week. No, it's not worth $10 an hour. No, it's not worth being left out of staff emails and staff parties when supposedly this is one big family. No, it's not worth being left off the work schedule two weeks in a row. No, it's not worth being in your 40s and feeling like you're back in high school again. No, it's not worth feeling demeaned and demoralized at the end of the shift by the tasks you're asked to do when you are capable, willing and eager to do more (and there is an obvious need). Life is too short to not be happy.

So I tried. I bit my tongue so much I had to go for ice numerous times. I held my breath - glad blue looks good on me. I did as my Grandfather taught me and "killed 'em with kindness". I put on my happy face and treated everyone with the utmost respect and courtesy. I tried....for a month. But I also left Northern Virginia for a reason. I didn't put up with this behavior there and I'm surely not giving up a $90,000 a year job with incredible benefits to start a  new life at the beach and put up with it here either.

I believe everything happens for a reason and there are no coincidences for what happens in life.  I'm being tested for sure and it's more challenging than I ever imagined. But my faith will take over as it always does and I will persevere.

After all, I do live only five blocks from the ocean now.......

Life is short. Lick the spoon.

I know everyone is probably sick of hearing me say how life is short and you should live with no regrets. You never know what could happen at any given moment. My parents are living proof.

Try retiring and then your wife, without any warning, has a brain bleed and her life flashes before your eyes. Then, miraculously, she is saved, comes out almost unscathed and retires as result. You build your dream vacation home in April of that year and then in December of that same year you find out that your cancer has come back and this time it has spread to the bone and chemo is your last and only hope.

By the grace of God, my parents are both finally on the road to good health and happiness! While I have had frustrating (stress-induced) health issues for the last two months that are still, unfortunately, lingering I remain immensely thankful.

While I am about to make a monumental change in my life (and I'd lie if I said I wasn't anxious) I am beyond excited and hopeful. I have dreamed of this - of him, of this house, of this town, of this life - and it is actually about to come true.

Some will be shocked but that's only because they assumed they knew me when they really don't know me at all. If you really knew me, you'd know that this has been a dream of mine since I was 10 years old, that this is the only place where I have ever been able to instantly find true peace, that I have been struggling for the last (at least) eight years in wanting to start over, that I am completely burned out with my career choice and want nothing to do with that line of work any longer, that I haven't been contently happy since I lost my source of unconditional love in April 2013, and that my faith is the only thing that powers me through my daily battles.

It isn't often that I am at a loss for words. But in this moment of pure gratefulness, Jason Gray lyrics are the best way for me to express how I feel for HIM and all that he has done, and continues to do, for me.

Hold on

Is this really the life I'm living?

'Cause I don't feel like I deserve it

Every day that I wake, every breath that I take you’ve given

So right here, right now

While the sun is shining down

I wanna live like there's no tomorrow

Love like I'm on borrowed time

It's good to be alive, yeah

I won’t take it for granted

I won’t waste another second

All I want is to give you

A life well lived, to say “thank you”

- Jason Gray

Life is short.

Lick the spoon.

You may never have that opportunity again.