Maybe you even came into school in the middle of the school year. Maybe it was during middle school which is already an awkward time anyway. Maybe you had a different style; wore different clothes than what was supposedly "cool" at the time. Maybe you had an accent because you came from a different area of the country. There were cliques already established. The cheerleaders don't want to include her even though she was captain at her last school because she's friends with "that girl". The jocks don't want anything to do with him unless it's to copy off of him in Math class. Why does she wear her hair like THAT? Why does he have THOSE shoes on?
Most of the time, though, there isn't even a reason that kids are mean. You're different. You're new. You're just being you but that is enough to upset their status quo. Perhaps they are jealous of you. Perhaps they have some sort of social anxiety and being mean is their defense mechanism. Perhaps they are trying to impress someone else. Perhaps they are just naturally unhappy.
Maybe you can relate. Unfortunately, I bet many of you can.
What is even worse though? Being able to relate to that behavior as an adult.
I need a job - a full time permanent job. I need a steady paycheck. I need employer-provided health insurance. I need to feel like I'm making a difference in my community. I need to give back.
I don't need to be looked down upon by a waitress because I work in the retail section of the same establishment. I don't need to be given the side eye and pushed aside when I am introduced. I don't need to be talked down to as if I am a puppy who just had an accident in the house. I don't need that tone of voice either. I definitely don't need it from someone who treats good-paying customers in the same unacceptable manner.
Yes, I need a job. Yes, the idea of working there was ideal. Yes, the perks were nice. Yes, the super short commute was nice. Yes, it was actually enjoyable to cross paths with a few of the staff members. Yes, it was the only job offer I've had in almost two months. But....
No, it's not worth maybe (if I'm lucky) two four-hour shifts a week. No, it's not worth $10 an hour. No, it's not worth being left out of staff emails and staff parties when supposedly this is one big family. No, it's not worth being left off the work schedule two weeks in a row. No, it's not worth being in your 40s and feeling like you're back in high school again. No, it's not worth feeling demeaned and demoralized at the end of the shift by the tasks you're asked to do when you are capable, willing and eager to do more (and there is an obvious need). Life is too short to not be happy.
So I tried. I bit my tongue so much I had to go for ice numerous times. I held my breath - glad blue looks good on me. I did as my Grandfather taught me and "killed 'em with kindness". I put on my happy face and treated everyone with the utmost respect and courtesy. I tried....for a month. But I also left Northern Virginia for a reason. I didn't put up with this behavior there and I'm surely not giving up a $90,000 a year job with incredible benefits to start a new life at the beach and put up with it here either.
I believe everything happens for a reason and there are no coincidences for what happens in life. I'm being tested for sure and it's more challenging than I ever imagined. But my faith will take over as it always does and I will persevere.
After all, I do live only five blocks from the ocean now.......
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