How it all started

During and immediately after my first medium session, I was in a state of awe. I was a crying, emotional mess and felt like I was wrapped in the softest, warmest blanket of my passed loved ones. It's a wonder I didn't crash my car on the way home because my mind and heart were racing. How could this be? Did that last hour of my life really happen? Did she really communicate with her? No, it wasn't her. It couldn't be. How is that even possible? She died seven years ago. But it was her. She said things that only I would know and I've never met this medium person before today. She said my mom's name - loud and clear - her best friend. She described situations that no one would know except for me. She was in my house and described a very specific routine of mine. Of course it was true. I saw it. I heard it. I witnessed it. I felt it. But wait, was it? Yes, of course it was. I was there.

I wanted to tell everyone. I wanted to scream from the mountaintops. But who would believe me? My boss would. He's the one that sent me there. But he didn't know the people who came through. He'd still want to hear about my experience though. So I called him and he had been waiting for my phone call. He was just as excited and comforted as I was because I understood. I got it. I went home to my boyfriend and told him all about it and he looked at me - alternating between a blank stare and disbelief. But then again, now that I think about it, he did that a lot over the four years we were together when it came to any conversation of any substance or importance.

I had to tell my mom. I had to. After all, the dominant person who came through was her best friend. What better gift than to know that she is still with her and giving her strength. Mom didn't even know I was going to the session today. I wanted to wait and see how it went before I said anything to my parents. Well, now I couldn't wait to tell her but how exactly do I explain what occurred? Oh your best friend, my second mom, who died in 2003 - yeah, she talked to the medium today and gave me all kinds of messages - some even for you. Your aunt showed up too by the way. But I had to tell her. She wouldn't be able to deny it even if she wanted to. I called Mom and told her I was on the way over. Of course she was worried something was wrong. Not to worry - just something that has to be done in person.

Thanks to the great advice of my boss, I took a recorder and a notebook to the session. Information was spewing out like crazy and there's no way I would have been able to remember all of that stuff. I'm so grateful because 8 years later, I can look back at what became my spirit journal and relive every single moment of that session (and every other session I've had). There were some things that didn't make sense at the time but they did soon after.

I remember telling Mom and Dad everything that occurred and they both just looked at me in disbelief but also in the same awe with tears rolling down their face. It was like looking at myself in the mirror. There was absolutely no denying what occurred. After I went through everything that transpired step by step, there was silence. Mom's mind was reeling. Dad got the concerned look on his face that he always did when there was something that just didn't quite make sense to him. Dad could not wrap his head around the fact that the medium had just had a conversation with someone who had died. He did everything he could to find fault or debunk it. But he couldn't.

From that moment on, I shared the "results" of every session I experienced with them. Mom was on the edge of believing. Dad wanted to believe but he just couldn't make sense of the "how". Then I found out what was really bothering him more than anything. He wasn't letting himself believe because he just couldn't see how someone could talk to a dead person. He believed in heaven and reincarnation and that when our bodies die, our souls do not. But this was against everything he had ever known. He just couldn't ever get behind these experiences being real. Even when I came back from a group session one night and told him that his father came through. Even when his father mentioned his mother's name and not her birthright name - but the name he called her. Even when his father apologized to him for things he should have, but never did, in his life here on earth. It all rang true. I saw the pain and the heartache in my dad's eyes. He couldn't deny it and finally, in death, his father said to him what he should have said his whole life. It was a moment I'll never forget and I know Dad never did either. The power was immeasurable.

"What about God?", Dad would say. "My religious beliefs won't let me believe" would be his main explanation. That bothered me for many reasons. But we will get into that in a different post. At the time, I didn't know the answers to Dad's whys. All I knew was what I experienced and it was real. With each session, it got more real.

And now, here I am.... starting to do the same thing that medium did for me eight years ago. How ironic (or is it?) that Dad is no longer here on this earth and it wasn't even two weeks after his death that he came through loud and clear in my first session with my present energy healer/medium/mentor. I had never met Ilona. She knew absolutely nothing about me. I'll never forget sitting on the floor across from her and she literally felt the exact pain in the exact place that my dad had experienced it. Among other things, Ilona channeled a message for my mom from Dad. That session. That's when I knew without a doubt. He gets it now. It took him almost eight years, but he gets it now. It was so worth the wait.

I believe that there are no coincidences in life - that everything happens for a reason. It's all part of a plan/contract/agreement that we have made or has been made for us before we were born. I also believe that every time a major death has occurred in my life, it has brought about a blessing. When my grandfather (my mom's dad) died when I was 11 years old, I was devastated. But as a result, it brought me closer than ever to my grandmother and she became one of my soul reasons for not only surviving but thriving in this life. When she died, I lost a part of my heart and never thought I'd know how to truly feel love again. A year later, she sent me Jason. (Seriously, she made it happen - that may be a later story to tell.) When Prowler unexpectedly died, he took my heart with him and yet less than a year after, he sent me Nami to give me purpose again. (Yes, he told me numerous reasons why he gave her to me and that will be a different topic as well.)

Every monumental being who has left me has given me something exceptional in return. But when my dad died, he gave me the greatest gift of all. He gave me the confidence and the means to follow my intuition, to begin using my gift to help others. Dad led me to my higher self.