Bittersweet Birthday

It isn't often I have trouble finding words that I need to express how deeply I feel. However, today, my grandmother's 92nd birthday, I'm at a loss. My heart is at a loss. My soul is at a loss. I'm also at a loss for words.
 

Thankfully, there's a Zac Brown Band song that strongly speaks to me. The moment I heard it, a few months ago on the new cd, I instantly thought of my ladybug. I was lucky enough to hear him play this live earlier this month and as the tears rolled down my face, I looked up at the clear night sky and felt as if she was here with me in that exact moment.  Extremely powerful.
 

So on her birthday, I raise a glass of wine, splurge on a chocolate dessert in her honor and sing this song to her. She loved when I sang to her and I'm not stopping now because I know she can hear me.

She is the one who taught me and showed me the most incredible sense of unconditional love. When she left this earth two years ago in April, she took such a huge part of who I am with her. My heart will never be the same. While I miss her every second of every day, I am so blessed to have never known a day of my life without her.

 

I love you, Ladybug! Happy Birthday!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPvyfLtlI-A

 

Bittersweet - Zac Brown Band

 

Can't tell where the sky begins and the water ends
No clouds to hide the sun
Waves playing me a symphony upon the sand
I lay drifting on the ocean with this bottle in my hand

 

Sat down on the boardwalk for a little while
Your memory my company
Something about this place had a way to make you smile
You always loved this island breeze

 

The wind whistling across my bottle still can't blow away the sorrow
That tomorrow you won't be here with me
So I raise it up and toast the day we met
I won't forget the way you love me, the amazing way you love me

 

It's bittersweet, you see
You're not here but I can feel you
Every memory is on the tip of my tongue
Close my eyes, see your face, hold on tight to yesterday
Praying when I wake, it was just a dream
It's bittersweet

 

Doctor said there's nothing we can do
Took my hand said take me home
To the only place with half a chance to take the pain away

 Make me feel alive before I go

You said life is only borrowed
So let's wash away our sorrow
That tomorrow I won't be here with you
Go and live your life with no regrets and don't forget how much I love you
I love you

 

It's bittersweet, you see
You're not here but I can feel you
Every memory is on the tip of my tongue
Close my eyes, see your face, hold on tight to yesterday
Praying when I wake, it was just a dream
It's bittersweet

 

I brought you back just like you wanted
So you don't ever have to leave
And when I poured you across the southern sky, I couldn't help but to cry
I know you finally got your wings

 

Bittersweet

 

The wind whistling across my bottle still can't blow away the sorrow
That tomorrow you won't be here with me
So raise it up and toast the day we met
I won't forget the way you love me, the amazing way you love me
It's bittersweet