10

10 is the number in which my dad comes through to me. 
10 is the number that represents the end of a major cycle.
10 is the number of days that I wear my Invisalign before switching them out to a new set.

10 is the number of months for this treatment.

I feel the desire to document my first ten days of this treatment. That may change. We’ll see and go with the flow. But for now, my brain and body need to get these thoughts out.

I didn’t sleep much last night. I don’t get anxious often but the unknown was really affecting me. I tried to sleep with meditation and that usually helps but not last night. I kept waking with a song playing over and over in my head. At least it was a good song-All Your’n by Tyler Childers -but it was on repeat and I could not shut it off.  I tried reciting affirmations. I talked to my angel guides. Nothing was working. I would drift and then wake and my mind kept begging for a hint of daylight to peek through the curtains so I could wake for the day and escape this craziness.

I enjoyed the hell out of my breakfast burrito and then left with 10 minutes to spare to get to the dentist’s office. I hate waiting in lobbies and knew that would just make me even antsier. I got there right on time and knowing I never get taken on time, it was strategic. The door to the exam rooms was slightly ajar and there was already a bustle of patients at 8am. Then the best thing that could have happened……happened. Out comes a corgi. I had met this awesome guy once before as he is one of the dentist’s darlings and often comes to work with his dad. Well, I motioned for him to come to me and he beelined right for me, batted his adorable eyes at me, sat on my foot and I proceeded to give him lovins. I don’t know who was happier-me or him. He then welcomed another victim….I mean patient….but came back to me. This time he jumped up on the sofa next to my chair and asked for more lovins. I obliged. I was just thrilled that those stubby little legs allowed the junk in his trunk to leap onto the sofa. I mean he deserved lovins after that feat being accomplished! What happens next? Rolls over for a belly rub and I am the queen of belly rubbins! While dude and I were having a moment, the tech calls my name and asks if I’m ready. Dear Lord, no, I’m not ready! I mean I’m in the middle of Corgi Therapy and I sure needed that to calm my nerves at that moment. I get up and dude proceeds to follow me so I told him to come with me and he walked me the entire way to my exam room. Now if that wasn’t a TANC moment, I don’t know what is! (Thanks, Pface. You’re always looking out for Momma.)

The pretty dentist came in and proceeded to put this ridiculously uncomfortable contraption in my mouth to keep it open for what seemed like an eternity but the whole procedure was only a little over an hour. I have a very small mouth and have never had any work done except cleanings and X-rays so all of this was extremely foreign to me. I felt like I was one of those plastic ducks in that carnival game where the person shoots water from a fake gun to knock the duck down… except…..the water was a few inches from my face and being shot directly into my mouth. Yeah, not cool. Then came the air version of that gun and that was even worse. My reflex is to shut my mouth….but wait, I physically can’t. Then I want to swallow and try to catch my breath through my mouth. Nope, can’t do that either so I tense up-my back, my neck, clenching my fists. But the pretty dentist tells me if I keep doing this we’re gonna be here all day. Well, shit, I’ve already been here long enough and it’s been maybe five minutes. Then he says the magic words, “Take a deep breath through your nose and go to your yoga place.” Bingo! I got this. Now, I do not do yoga, although I really want to start, but what he said resonated. Focus on your breath. Intentionally breathe. I KNOW how to do that. I teach people that all the time. I use that technique all the time. We are in the present moment when we focus on our breath. So I needed to get out of the low vibration of fear that I was in and return to the present moment and…….I would do so by focusing on my breath. Or by passing out, which after finishing the upper tray the pretty dentist commented that he thought I had passed out at one point. We both then agreed…..for a moment we wish I would have.

This was not fun. I’m not a wuss. I am someone who is grateful that at age 50, I have never had a single cavity or any work done at the dentist office. So all of this was completely unknown and new to me. He told me that the dentist should be my best friend based on my history and I proceeded to tell him that he WAS my best friend until he started doing this nonsense to me today.  We laughed. Well, he did. 

Long story short, I survived. I not only survived but I was not in horrific pain or even much discomfort. In fact, I thought maybe something was wrong because I did not feel like I had been beaten in a dark alley and left to fend for myself. I mean, I still recall Dad coming home from a gum disease treatment and looking like he had been beaten for days and left for dead. I didn’t like that but was grateful I didn’t follow in his footsteps. I was able to get the trays in and out on my own. I had all my crazy questions answered. I recall the pretty dentist telling me that I must remain positive through this process….I can do that. He also told me that my lifestyle was going to change for the next 10 months but it would be worth it in the end. I believe that. I need to keep reminding myself of that on the not so good days.

My lifestyle has already changed and it’s not even been 24 hours yet. I love food but it is a damn pain in the ass to take these trays out every time I eat or drink anything other than water. So much so that I ate breakfast, took Mom to an appointment, ran some errands and 10 hours have passed and I have not eaten again. Am I hungry? Sure am! But I’ll suck it up and wait til dinner. I want this fuckery to work so I’m keeping them in as long as I possibly can handle. Is this partially a weight loss program? Sure is! The pretty dentist said I don’t need to lose weight (yeah, that’s what they all say) but I have a good five (shoot, maybe 10) lbs I can happily shed. Don’t worry, ya girl will not starve. I love food too much. I’ll just make the most out of the meals I DO eat. Strategery, friends. Strategery.

So I am happy to say that I only have a terrible whole head headache that started maybe five hours ago and is still lingering. There’s a multitude of reasons why-the obvious screwing with my mouth and the pressure, having to talk quite a bit having taken Mom to an appointment an hour away, no lunch in my body today and no sleep last night. But if a headache is my only complaint, well, I’ll take day one as a win. Oh and one more thing, I’m glad auditions for American Idol aren’t coming up because with this Invisalign-induced lisp and slobber randomly coming out of the corners of my mouth, I’d have to pass on this season. I’d hate to disappoint everyone.