Wearing my heart on my skin

I always admired and was intrigued by tattoos. I always desired to have ink on my skin but always said there was nothing I could imagine wanting on my body for the rest of my life. Perhaps in my 20s I would desire one thing but in my 80s that would not be the same want any longer. Tattoos are permanent and I wasn’t taking this endeavor lightly. Little did I know that would all change in October 2015.

I had the itch, the craving, the want for a tattoo. It was a feeling I had never felt before. I still wasn’t sure exactly what it would be but I did know a few things. I wanted words/letters. I wanted it to be on my inner left wrist. I wanted it to be meaningful and unique to me. I wanted it to honor my grandmother who had transitioned in 2013. Months went by and I was consumed with thoughts and ideas but no decision yet. I knew when the time was right, I would know and it would happen.

As I made the hour drive to Chantilly for a medium session, I started to talk to my grandmother, as I always did on the way to sessions. I asked her to please give me some sort of inspiration for my tattoo design. During the lengthy session, my grandmother did come through along with a few others. As she was validating info about my current romantic relationship, she made the statement, “There are no coincidences.” That’s when it hit me. Though she did not come out and say, “Here’s your tattoo, toots” I knew exactly what to do.  My heart was overjoyed and tears rolled down my smiling face. On the drive home, it all became clear. An acronym with the letter “t” formed as a cross and the other three letters in my grandmother’s handwriting. Next I would search through cards and documents of hers to get those three letters and arrange them. My favorite guy (who is now my beloved Hubs) had a tattoo he wanted done so we made joint appointments and off we went to Jack Brown’s Tattoo Revival in Fredericksburg, VA a few months later.

My first tattoo is simple to the general public but those four letters are a constant and permanent reminder of my grandmother, our unconditional bond and shared faith. There are no coincidences, or tanc, has become my motto and at the time I had no idea of its true purpose in my soul’s journey.  But as always, Grandmother did. https://winefoodie.blogspot.com/2015/10/my-permanent-reminder.html

What is it about tattoos that once you get one you must have another? I always heard that but never understood it until I got inked. I wasn’t gonna run out and be crazy though. I wanted another but it had to fit the parameters-unique to me and meaningful. When the time was right…..

After my dad transitioned in 2017, I got the nudge again. Oddly enough, Dad never wanted me to get a tattoo. It was an old school, conservative thing in his mind. Why would a pretty girl do something like that to herself? Oh Dad……

In February 2018, three years later, I got my second tattoo…….in memory/honor of my dad. This time another set of words in e.e. cummings style with a tiny heart to serve as a reminder of my plus one, the man who loved me first and best. It was with the creation of this tattoo, that I met “my” tattoo artist. Everyone has the artist they love to work with and gain that connection. I didn’t know it then but after two more AJ masterpieces, I gratefully do.

That same year, AJ created the piece that made me deem him as my “magic man”. I always wanted a dragonfly but I wanted it to be big, with specific colors and placed to represent her always “having my back” and serving as my supporter, encourager and the epitome of graceful strength. The most important “must” was that it look realistic and AJ blew me away when he showed me what he created specifically for me. He told me of the story while sitting outside behind the shop- a dragonfly landed on the picnic table and he drew my tattoo. AJ was “tanc’d” and had no idea, but she and I knew and THAT was the real beauty. 

Up to this point, I had only had powerful letters/words tattooed on my arms and the time spent to have them done was minimal. This dragonfly would prove to be a major undertaking for me -two sittings of hours at a time, color, shading, lots of intricate line work, and on some areas of bone (that was super fun).  Often I will get asked, “Didn’t that hurt?” It wasn’t necessarily pleasurable all the time but it was worth it. Each tattoo I have is in memory of someone who had a huge impact on my life and who went through enormous pain during the end stages of their human life. So I have nothing to bitch about in comparison to what their bodies endured and I relive those moments with every session. It’s almost as if they have a final release from that pain as I take it from them and transcend it.

Two years later, in November 2020, my most recent tattoo began and it was by far the most, let’s say, “physically sensitive” one. Three hours of being uncomfortable, sometimes in actual physical pain, I was not surprised that this one ran deep. When I walked into the shop and saw his paws displayed on the stand as AJ’s guide, tears began to roll and I clearly heard, “Hey! Those are mine! My feet!” My protector, my best friend, Prowler, stood guard at my side the entire session often wanting AJ to stop “hurting me”. When I left that day and gingerly got into my car, the time on the clock added up to six; the number that represents my boy. I had wanted him to be ok with his crossed paws on my thigh and it was then that I received the approval I needed. Yesterday, three months later, AJ completed his masterpiece and posted a photo on his Facebook page of my “doggy paws”. While most would see this as cute or fun, it is realistic and taken from an actual photo of his actual paws. They are larger than life on purpose because that is how Prowler viewed himself (and yes, he actually expressed that to me). They are disintegrating at the top to represent his transition of body back to a soul as a visual reminder that he is still by my side-my left side actually where he always insisted to be.

I was 42 when I got my first tattoo. I am now 48 and have four; each one uniquely mine and in memory of a  beautiful soul. As each piece is unique, so was each experience. I learned, I cried, I laughed, I hurt, I loved, I experienced. Most of all, I was present. And for each tattoo experience, just as with each of these souls on my journey, and for my magic man for not only his artistic talent but his compassion and our connection, I was and remain grateful.

❤️🖤❤️🖤

Tattoos are the stories in your heart written on your skin.

- Charles DeLint

Letting go……finally

In 2003, I was married after two years of dating. I was 30 and most of my friends had long been married and had families. Some were happy; some not. Since I had waited til I was 30 I thought I was more mature and ready. Well, I suppose I was but he was not. Well, in hindsight, maybe neither of us were. In 2008, my divorce was final. It was a nasty, grueling, emotional nightmare that devastated me.  I felt as if I had failed. Failed myself, my parents, my grandparents and all that I knew to be right about love and marriage. No one in my family but my uncle had been divorced (twice) and the last thing my pride wanted was to be compared to him. Til death do us part for my parents and both sets of grandparents and great grandparents. What did I do wrong? At 35, I was starting life over….alone.

A failed marriage was disheartening enough but what made it truly unbearable was the financial devastation and legal battles that were attached.  The court approved an agreed-upon settlement and, after 13 years, I am still not receiving the determined monetary amount. Many years of nasty certified letters, lawyers, screaming, anger and disgust filled my life and my heart.  I held up my end of the agreement but he did not. I kept wondering why I was being punished.  My everyday life was still being controlled by him and I swore to forgive but never forget. Of course, like all of us, those were just words.  I didn’t forgive him. I would never forgive him, I thought.  He ruined everything. My trust in others disappeared. The rage toward dating again overwhelmed me. I could not even stand the thought of ever being in the same air space as a man I once loved because of betrayal of so many sorts.  

As years went on, I would get a menial (not even half of the legal agreed-upon amount) check in the mail and the rage would fill me up and I would hop on the victim train again.  I refused to deal with lawyers any longer because they couldn’t guarantee I would “win” and being out even more money than I already was made no sense.  So I decided I just wanted him out of my life and this petty check would make him suffer because he would have to send it every month for the rest of his life. Yeah, I was definitely bitter, to say the least.

Six years after our divorce, my grandmother transitioned and I was lost in many ways. I had always been my grandmother’s pride and joy and she was mine. I was the only grandchild and we were inseparable.  She would always slip money in my purse when I wasn’t looking. She paid for my college undergrad and grad school.  She bought a car for me and I would pay her monthly so I wouldn’t have to finance it. I found out years later she was just putting that back into another account of mine.  Sneaky devil, she was! When my ex decided to go to school full-time and not work, Grandmother would give me checks to supplement that lost income, even though I didn’t need it.  When my ex demolished his car, she bought him a new car which he sold for money after we separated. Ungrateful bastard, I thought. The list goes on and on. 

Being an only child, my mom had been keenly aware of Grandmother’s finances since her father transitioned almost 30 years prior.  But neither of us knew of an account my grandmother had with only her name and mine on it. That account just happened to have the exact amount that my ex-husband owed me. Even in death, she was still taking care of me. There are no coincidences!

It was at that point I realized this was bigger than me. Bigger than a divorce. Bigger than doing the right thing. Bigger than being the better person. Now I could truly be free of him, I thought, because regardless of getting the money I was owed from him, my grandmother took care of me again and that money rightfully owed to me was ultimately received, albeit in a different way.  I went on with my life, still angry, but not letting it run my life any longer. Well, or so I thought…..

About two years later, I received a letter in the mail from him requesting that I relieve him of what he owed me because his wife had cancer and they needed to travel to NY for trials.  The anger raged up inside of me again. Just seeing his handwriting made me sick. Knowing he hand delivered it to my mailbox was even worse because that meant he had been to my house. He knew nothing about my life or challenges or my financial or health woes. How dare he?! My dad had been battling cancer that came back three times since we divorced but that didn’t matter to him, I suppose. Nothing mattered because all he cared about was himself and his new wife-who by the way knew nothing about me.  Well, she may have but not the truth. He was sucking her dry like he did me and even convinced her to get a German Shepherd puppy- since he had “never had one and always wanted one”. (FYI- three years after we were married we got a GSD puppy btw. Needless to say, I fought to keep Prowler over everything else and I won.) I refused to relieve him of his obligation and wished no ill will upon his wife. Needless to say, that didn’t go over well but that’s too bad.  Life sucks sometimes when you’re an adult and have obligations. 

Somehow, and I don’t recall how, I found “her” blog.  It was all about her cancer journey. Being a lover of the written word and definitely personal accounts, I was definitely intrigued.  Also, having been an advocate for my dad who battled prostate cancer at that point for 19 years, cancer patients always have a soft spot in my world.  I felt for her. I wanted to help her. But I wanted nothing to do with him. I knew she had no idea I existed and I hated him even more for that.  He hadn’t changed. Only the woman he was married to had changed.

In 2016, two years after meeting my current husband, we moved out of state. Two months later, my GSD died and the following year, three days apart, my dad did.  It was then that everything changed. Remember that whole spiritual awakening thing I mentioned in my last blog post? Yeah……. (If not, here is your sign to go read it.)

Something nudged me to check out “her” blog again, which I had avoided and, honestly, forgotten all about. It was in the blog that I found that she had lost her battle……the same year as my dad, a few months prior. Tears uncontrollably rolled down my face and my heart ached.  No one should have to suffer that way. I can’t imagine going through what she did. I can’t imagine leaving my family, my business I worked so hard to build, my friends, my animals. Then I instantly thought of my ex and my heart ached for him too. Yep, you read that right. Everything changed. He is a hurt soul. He always has been and it all quickly came to my knowing. He always longed for parents who were loving and compassionate and supportive but his mom was an alcoholic and his dad was a pompous, arrogant know-it-all who came from a Belgian royal family (or so he claimed). Lots of heartache and 0 to 7 unresolved-and-shoved-under-the-rug issues. What my ex was always lacking was unconditional love. I tried my best to provide that until trust was broken and unrepairable, police became involved and the relationship had served it purpose with lessons soon to be learned. 

With the death of his wife, my hardened, angry and resentful heart burst wide open for him. All that I remembered from that point forward was the good we shared over six years time. There were a lot of great times and yet they had been replaced instantly with hatred, shame and guilt. It was then, at the realization at the death of her, that I was able to truly forgive him….and myself….. and let the chains that I self imposed for ten years……..go. We are all here as souls having a temporary human experience; growing and learning according to our soul’s purpose. He was part of my journey. I was part of his. Love is all that remains now.  Finally……that unconditional love appeared……by letting go. 

What do you mean she TALKS to animals?

Yep, that’s me. I talk to animals but it is a lot more than just talking. I listen. I feel. I connect. I have always had a love for animals and would jokingly say that I would rather work amongst them all day than most people (not really a joke). Almost 15 years ago, after completing my “mediumship training”, my teacher suggested I train to be an animal communicator. I was hesitant. Why? Well, for the same reason you are hesitant on believing anything I say or purchasing a session of mine. Because it is unknown or new to you; out of the ordinary for you. Because your ego mind is telling you it’s impossible I can do what I do. There’s no way a human can converse with animals, right? Wrong! But unless you open your mind to it (and anything new for that matter) you will always be wondering and judging and missing out.

Hesitant and with a lot of questions, I told my teacher I would think about it. When her next class opened up a few months later, I thought “oh, why not”? Nothing would make me happier than to be able to communicate with my dog, Prowler, and if that’s all that came out of it, it would be worth it. This all-day interactive training blew me away! For quite a few years (damn ego brain!), I would only communicate with Prowler but it was so incredible in itself and, in hindsight, it was building up my confidence to help others soon enough.

You never forget your first, right? Yep, same for this instance. Spencer, a white standard poodle who lived in Massachusetts with my friend’s (and boss at the time) brother. That session was more than 10 years ago and yet remains so special to me. I will never forget relaying to my friend the details of the session. He replied with a photograph of Spencer with THE exact toy that Spencer showed me. We were both blown away! It was then, at that moment, that I truly believed in myself and my abilities. (Thanks, Phil and Spencer!)

Since then, I have connected with so many animals. All of these have been remotely-meaning I connect to their energy in a meditative state through a photograph. These connections are draining-physically and emotionally. They take an extreme amount of energy and, for that reason, I need to be very careful and cautious. This goes for any connection-card readings, mediumship, animal communication, reiki. Sessions occur quickly though; messages come through quickly and often in a bombarding way. I also must cut the cords to the energy or that connection will not end and draining is not even a sufficient word for what happens then! For this reason, my sessions are either recorded or written down and emailed to the recipient. This way you also get to refer back to it anytime you want. Often, there may be things you cannot validate at the time but days, weeks, months later, you will.  In my training, we gave a classmate a photo of our animal and had to “read” them. The lady who connected with Prowler mentioned something being wrong with his leg in a very precise spot. It was not relevant to me at the time but it soon revealed itself some time later and she was spot on. This is not because she was psychic. It was because she connected to Prowler and he told her and she felt it. Animals often do not show physical signs of pain or discomfort until the disease or problem has manifested for quite a while. They like to be tough guys for us. At the time of the training, I thought this lady has no idea about my dog. I know him better than anyone. Then the tables were turned and I was doing the connections and people didn’t believe me….well, that is until they did…….

Because info comes quickly and because I have to cut the cords of energy connection after each session, I don’t always retain details of past sessions. Clients will come back months or years later and ask if I remember such and such and I do not or they vaguely jog my memory. It is not because I do not care. I just block it out. It’s called setting healthy boundaries. Rest assured, every single animal I connect with has my complete attention and love as if they are my own. Just as people do, animals also have free will. I cannot MAKE an animal come through any more than I can MAKE your loved ones in spirit come through. But in all my years, I have had hesitant loves but never had to refund a session for an animal refusing to connect.

While I may not remember every detail of a session, I don’t forget the animal. I had a cat who, during the session, rubbed up and down the side of my neck at one point. After that 30 minute session, I was doing my cord cutting ritual and my neck was itching so badly and was reddened. I immediately texted the owner and told them. Physical validation right there. I am deathly allergic to cats! With that same idea in mind, just a few years ago, I had the pleasure of connecting to a different cat who was having some health issues and I was able to alert the owner who then brought it up to the vet. Thankfully the vet was open to alternative healing modalities and entertained my feelings which turned out to be valid. I mean, I knew they were, but it’s not always easy for someone to “get it”.  That cat has since transitioned (and I also remotely aided in comfort measures as he made that transition) and has left a major mark on my journey. It was with him that my cat allergy was healed because I never had any physical reaction during my connections with him or with any other cat since.

Then there was the golden retriever whose mom frantically called me asking for my help one day while I was at work. I had never done a connection on demand but I felt compelled to that day and did so on my lunch break. I was able to connect with him as his family was driving to the vet to let him go. He gave me specific and personal goodbye messages for each of the six family members.  He showed me details of one of the daughter’s shirts which was of no relevance to me until his mom told me that was the shirt worn by the daughter whose lap he was laying on the way to the vet.

I am not a vet or a doctor. I am not in the medical profession nor do I give medical advice. But, I will relay to you what I feel with the animal. In a session, the animal makes me feel what they feel-emotionally and physically. I became a reiki practitioner in 2019 with the main purpose of helping animals. I know that threw my class for a loop when I made that announcement! Leave it to me to be different! That doesn’t mean I will not offer reiki healing to people- I have and I will- but animals are my calling.

A recent session that I will leave you with that hit my heart and still remains there is the connection I had with an Old English Bulldog.  He was very detailed in his session and one thing I remember is he told his mom that she would know when it was time (she was very concerned about how she would know). He also gave her his bucket list.  He gave me indicators of how his health was failing and his deep connection with his mom and her little daughter.  A few months later, his mom called me in a panic to tell me he was failing fast and explained how he had told her that morning. I already knew as I felt his labored breathing a few minutes prior to her message. A few hours later, I had the privilege of meeting him in person, providing him reiki and confirming what the doc would say a short time later. This was a very special connection in that he has been the only animal I have both remotely and physically met. I was honored to have hand fed him a hamburger that day……one of his bucket list items.

Having an animal communication session is not only about the animal but it is also about you.  Most people obviously want to know why their animal is acting a certain way or if they are in pain or if they are happy or their past history. What most people do not expect is for their animal to be as wise if not wiser than they are! Just because animals do not talk like humans do does not mean that they cannot communicate and feel emotions. They absorb all that their people are experiencing and feeling.  Animals will take in YOUR emotions and physical ailments and make them their own as a way to help you. When I connect with an animal and relay the info to you, I expect you to follow through with any requests of your animal. My friend and the bulldog? Yeah, she fulfilled every single item on his bucket list!

So many connections over the years. So much trust from the animal. So much love for their person. So many validations of personality. So many messages of comfort and even some of warning. 

So much love for their animals. So much trust in me. So many people who want to understand their animals on a deeper level.

So, yes, I talk to animals. I hear them. I feel them. I love them on an equal and energetic level- a soul level-as one soul to another. We, as humans are not inferior or superior to animals. We are all souls. Your soul chose to inhabit a temporary human body for this lifetime. An animal’s soul chose to inhabit a temporary animal body for this lifetime. We are all energy. We are all souls made of love and light. 

All that energy and love stuff

Whatever you do for yourself is what you are offering up to the whole.  We are all equals.  When you place someone on a pedestal-above you-better than you-that makes you lose connection.  We are all equal in vibration. We all give off energy and receive energy.  Everything in this Universe is comprised of energy- actions, inactions, emotions, choices.  Everything vibrates energy. Nothing is static.

What exactly is a vibration though? A vibration is a subtle fluctuation of energy emitting from our being and influencing the atmosphere at that moment in time.  We have the ability to shift or change our vibration.  So what does it mean when we talk about raising the vibration? Raising the vibration is a way to elevate our experience as a human.  When we raise the vibration, we make a conscious choice to shift what we are giving off.  It is a conscious choice to return to love on a daily basis. It is a great call to action to make this world a better place than what it was when we arrived! Not only are you committing to consciously be your best self for you but you are doing it for all of those around you and the entire world!  To do so, takes practice and commitment and entails recognizing the parts of your life that are causing harm and then facing them head on!

Raising the vibration lifts the energy of the body and is also a way to heal the body.  It is a lifetime practice and not a one time action.  Consistency is key! It starts with a self practice of doing the work for yourself and then, in time, others are influenced just by the shift you have made in your choices and behavior.  When you make this commitment to constantly work on choosing a higher way of being, you step back into the presence of love and allow love to be your teacher and guide.  Raising the vibration calls you to ask, “How can I be a better vehicle of love today?”

Raising the vibration usually comes after a spiritual awakening.  What is a spiritual awakening? You may think it is some phenomenon; something that will never happen to you or it is just something you read about In books or see in a movie. Sounds quite otherworldly sometimes.  Or like you have to be at a Buddhist monastery or on sabbatical in India meditating and practicing yoga all day.  There is nothing wrong with any of those things but a spiritual awakening can happen to all of us in our everyday life….with OR without warning.

A spiritual awakening can happen after an emotional trauma or it can just happen! It leads to raising the vibration after experiencing something emotionally heavy.  You realize you are part of something greater and you have the power to make it better.

A spiritual awakening is a moment that brings you “home”.  An a-ha! moment-that moment when you start to see the world so differently than you have seen it before - when you realize you are your own self but you are also connected to a greater force. You realize your actions not only affect yourself but your loved ones, your coworkers, your neighbors, your community, your state, your country, the entire world!

A spiritual awakening is an instant wake-up call to wanting to live in a more purposeful way; wanting to make a difference. The way you have been seeing the world has been with blinders on and instantly you now see it in a completely different compassionate light.  You don’t fit in with those around you.  You are not understood.  That is because you are now awakening and seeing things, without question, in alignment with love, with your soul, your natural state.

We are ALL equals having our own temporary human experience.  We are a soul inhabiting a body as the vehicle for that experience in this school we call Earth.  A spiritual awakening does not make you better than anyone else.  A spiritual awakening is part of your soul’s journey and does not have to (and it usually will not) look like anyone else’s.  Some of us have had that awakening and some have not.  Some of us will and some of us will not. Regardless, we are all equal energetic souls made of pure love and light; extensions of creator energy (whatever you call that-the Universe, Source, God, etc.)

There is one thing spiritual awakenings have in common and that is you will know when it occurs.  There is no wondering or questioning if you had one.  Life as you know it, how you approach it, and how you feel about it will instantly change.  Love and compassion for ALL sentient beings overcomes you out of nowhere. The judgment and criticism and questioning is gone and the ego is no longer in control because you KNOW who you are! And it is not fleeting.

When my maternal grandmother died in April 2013, my heart was shattered. I lost my sense of self; who I was. I was living in a depressed state and the things I would normally find joy in were now meaningless to me. I wasn’t angry. I was empty. I was void of all feelings. When I realized 17 months later that she was still with me through various “non-coincidences”, my heart began to heal.  That was not a spiritual awakening.  That was accepting that a woman who was my world for just shy of 40 years shed her temporary human body and was still very much “alive” and with me; just in different form.  Because of the bond we had in the physical, our soul’s energetic bond remains just as strong.  Love and energy are never ending.  For those 17 months, I gave into the ego self-the master plan for failure-and was living in a low-vibrational state of fear instead of in alignment with my true nature; love.  But, as I said, that was NOT a spiritual awakening.  That was the true beginning of being aware of my soul’s journey. But, of course, I didn't know that then.

My dad was my best friend, my plus one.  I was always a “daddy’s girl” and proud to say so.  Dad battled cancer for 21 years and the last seven days of his life at home under Hospice care were the most emotional.  Seeing my hero in such a frail state, heavily medicated and dependent on me and my mom was nothing short of agonizing.  I cared for him, loved him and equally prayed each night for God to take his soul home and make him whole and free again.  I was honored to be at his side, reading a Bible verse to him as he took his last breath that morning.  I wouldn’t dream of being anywhere else.  He was there when I took my first human breath and I was there when he took his last.

My dad was kind.  That word.  Kind.  More people referred to him as kind than any other word and that was huge.  My dad was the kindest man I have ever known and when I say kind I mean 24/7 365 kind.  He exuded kindness….to ALL people. I remember always thinking he was too kind for his own good because I witnessed him getting taken for granted so often; even by his own brother and parents.  My dad would put everyone before himself without any consideration or hesitation.  He would always go out of his way to help others or make them happy without expectations or reciprocating efforts.  I would often get frustrated because I would see him being treated poorly or not being appreciated and he would keep doing it.  He always saw the good in people even if they treated him poorly over and over and over.  Dad was a forgiver and a believer that people are innately good.  I remember heated conversations we would have because I loved him so much and was trying to protect him because he wouldn’t protect himself.  I even referred to him as a “welcome mat” and it wasn’t a term of endearment.  But Dad was Dad and kept loving and giving and being kind until his last breath.

My spiritual awakening occurred after an emotionally traumatic event.  The transition of the first and best man who ever unconditionally loved me.  The man who loved me the most.  The man who adored me before he ever even met me.

My dad transitioned in November 2017.  My life as I knew it changed.  Not as many would think though.  Not like the depression I encountered four years earlier.  It all suddenly made sense.  He LIVED! I mean really lived his life.  Every single second of his life, he lived with no regrets.  He never met a stranger.  He loved with his entire being.  For 44 years, I had been letting the ego self control me.  For 68 years, he led with his heart and never questioned who he was.  Now, I would continue that legacy and with no effort really.  When the light of his human experience extinguished, mine began to shine brighter than ever.  My soul’s purpose in this lifetime would soon be revealed after a lot of diving deep, addressing my core wound, forgiveness and healing.

We are all here helping each other “home”.  When we accept that we all have varying journeys and that love, without judgment, is always the answer no matter the question, that journey becomes such a magical experience for our soul!  So make that conscious decision today to return to love on a daily basis; to raise the vibration for yourself and all those around you, for the world.  Doing so will not only improve your temporary experience here on Earth but you will also leave the world better than it was when your soul arrived! How can you be a better vehicle of love today? 

My 10 Day Challenge to Love the Green Monster

I"m sure many of you have heard of the global Celery Juice Movement that has been going on for decades. I may be late to the party but what is time anyway? Time really is just an illusion and what is meant to happen will happen for each of us when it is time; in Divine timing.

A few days ago, I decided to watch a lesson from Anthony William, the Medical Medium, as part of the Hay House HEAL Summit and, while I knew of the celery juice craze, it wasn't until listening to the Medical Medium himself that I decided to try it out for myself. I even got Hubs to play along! 

This morning, we started our 10-day Celery Juice Challenge. I wanted to go for 30 days but I have to be out of town for some of that time and lugging the juicer and all my paraphenalia just wasn't gonna be advantageous. So we will try it for 10 days and see how it goes. I truly feel that this will be a part of my daily regimen from now on.

I HATE celery.

I hate the atrocious smell. 

I hate the stringyness of this herb (yes, it's an herb; not a vegetable). 

I hate the taste of celery. 

I hate the crunch when it is mixed in with something else.

I have just never cared for celery at all. With that said, this is going to be super fun for me isn't it? So why am I doing it then? Well, when celery juice is consumed by the body in the right way, it is a powerful healing remedy. Drinking 16 oz of celery juice on an empty stomach daily is shown to improve digestion, lower blood pressure and cholesterol levels, lessen bloating, cure allergies, clear up skin, help with weight loss, stablize moods, bring about mental clarity and many other wonderful things! In fact, there are many people who are even healing from acute and chronic disease by drinking juice from celery!

The Celery Juice Movement is a grassroots movement and many will probably "poo poo" it because it isn't backed by funding or any interest group. No studies have been done and no scientists are singing its praises. But I don't need that. In fact, I'd rather not have that. I know, first hand,, that the body has the ability to heal itself and that we must make proper choices in helping it survive.Food is definitely a tool to use in healing the body. By switching to a Whole Food Plant Based lifestyle a few years ago, my cholesterol dropped along with my weight and I also started to FEEL better. In the past year, I have started to slack and, man, can I feel it. So to jumpstart my body back into healing and to free it of toxins, pathogens and inflammation, I have decided to try celery juice.

So, what exactly does this 10 Day Celery Juice Challenge mean? Starting this morning, we will consume 16 oz (ok, I set myself up for success so I only did 8 oz this morning and the Medical Medium said it was ok to work up to the 16 oz) of juiced celery on an empty stomach.  Doing so will strengthen the digestion of foods that we eat the rest of the day. Because of its complex, nutritional makeup, we will not blend it with any vegetables or fruit. I will just take a deep breath, infuse it with reiki, be grateful, and suck it down! 

I read that one package of celery will yield about 16oz and sure enough it did. In fact, it probably yields about 20 oz but I stopped at 16oz today. First thing that is VERY important, is to cut the bulb off and then wash each stalk very well. Or you can get organic but I would still wash it, even though they say you don't have to do so.

Next, I took a measuring cup and placed it under the spout of my juicer to make sure I would know exactly how much 16 oz would be. Then I just started feeding those stalks of celery into their vat of death! Maybe it's me, but there is something that makes me feel accomplished when I watch a vegetable, fruit or herb turn into liquid in a matter of seconds.

Even though the smell was simply wretched, just with this simple transition from a solid to a liquid, I kept going. I was going to do this, damnit. If I went WFPB in 30 days, I can suck down a glass of  daily celery juice. 

My health is worth it. My body deserves it. 

I am in control of my health. No one else.

Celery juice is medicinal; not caloric. That fact made me happy. Why? This juice is not going to BE my breakfast. It will be an appetizer to my breakfast. My lovely smoothie or my mason jar of overnight oats and fruit loveliness will still be a part of my morning. Phew! But I do have to wait 15-30 minutes after consuming the green liquid before I indulge in said deliciousness.

Today, Hubs was at an appointment so I juiced my portion first. I was surprised that it didn't take much celery to get to 8 oz of juice. I'm also super happy that a big bag of celery is only $1.42 at Walmart (gag, I hate that place with a passion). Of course, fellow shoppers were probably wondering what on Earth I was planning to do with such an overabundance of celery. But, hey, I don't judge. I expect them not to and if they do, well, that's their problem; not mine. I didn't question you when you hoarded toilet paper. Leave me and my green stalks alone. Many thanks and much love to you. 

Ready and eager to let the healing begin, I pour my glass of celery juice and am super excited. Then for a brief moment, I think, oh man, I hate celery so much. What am I doing? Am I going to be able to fathom drinking this stuff? What if I vomit? What if I just can't do it. Then I realized what I was doing and shut down my ego brain. "I am grateful for this healing juice. I am grateful for consuming this juice quickly and reaping its benefits. I am grateful for the ability to heal my own body." 

Deep breath, down the hatch!

Dear God....

 That was SOOOOOO disgusting. 

The smell alone almost made me vomit. 

But I did it! I drank every last drop of it.

And then I quickly filled my glass up with water, swished it around and downed it like college girl me did a shot back in the day. 

Those 15 minutes I had to wait before consuming something delicous couldn't go by fast enough. All kidding aside, I actually waited 30 minutes. If I am going to consume this stuff, I am going to at least make sure I do it right so that it will work and benefit my body.

This 10 Day Celery Juice Challenge feels good already. It isn't going to be that much of a challenge except to increase my daily intake from 8 oz to 16oz or even more at some point. When I know that what I am doing is not harming my body but healing it, it's a no brainer for me. 

What I just realized, and this is how my world works, is that celery is green. Well, that's not anything you didn't already know, right? Well, sure but do you know what is important about celery being green? Green is the color associated with the heart chakra. Green is also associated with Archangel Raphael who is the archangel of healing. Yeah, there are no coincidences in this life. Everything happens exactly as it is supposed to when it it is supposed to according to our soul's path. 

So here's to you, celery juice! 

I love you, you wretched green monster!

Let's do this!

 

2021 - the year of change

Well, here we go. 2021. The year everyone has been waiting for. The savior of all years to release us from the dumpster fire that was 2020, right? Well, what if I told you that 2021 is all about change. Yep, change. That word that most humans dread.

2020 was a year that most people want to forget and wish never occured. I understand that for many reasons. Personally, 2020, did not negatively affect me at all and for that, I am grateful. 2020 was a year of foundation. What does that mean really? A year that challenged us to our core - made us think aobut who we really are, what our relationships are made of, the validity of our jobs and careers, what truly makes us tick. From the very start of the pandemic, I chose to refer to this time as a "healing of the earth". It was God's way of reaffirming to all us arrogant humans who REALLY is in control. Not the government. Not the legal system. Not public safety. Not humans at all. God woke us up and said, "Hey, don't forget about me. This is still MY world and I am in charge. Not you." Our foundations were rocked. Mine, however, was solidified and made even stronger.  Why fear lockdowns and quarantines? If you aren't comfortable in your own home, there is something deeper going on than the govenrment "making" you stay home. Many accepted this realization and started to do some inner work and relationship work. Others, well, are still in denial. It's ok because everyone is on their own path and it will all unfold as it is supposed to.  Early on in the healing of the earth, I began to focus on love; not fear. Love is who we are. Love is our natural state. If we stay aligned with love, fear is not possible. Fear actually only exists in the past. So if you stay in the present moment, fear is a stranger. We are all souls having a temporary human experience.  2020 was all about rising up or bowing out. Many, many souls chose to exit stage right and I hold no judgement for them. Others, such as myself, saw this as an opportunity to love, guide and provide love in service by rising up to the call of a new Earth. 

So now it's 2021. The first day of 2021. How are you going to navigate this new year? Just flipping a calendar and not writing "2020" on anything any longer, doesn't change things. There is no going "back to normal". Why would you want to? "Normal" obviously wasn't working. Why not focus on what you learned in 2020 and carry it forward into 2021? Why not focus on love and remove all hate, judgment and fear and make 2021 not only a better year, but take a part in making this world a better place? How do you do that? Don't make the same mistakes that you made last year and the years prior. Mistakes are just opportunities to learn but if we keep repeating them, we clearly aren't learning are we? Stop judging others because they think, say, look, do or feel ways different from your own. We are all one. We are all extensions of God - pure love and light- here for soul growth having a temporary human experience. Those experiences are all unique to our souls and not a single one is better or worse than another. 

If 2020 was the year revolving around foundation and 2021 is the year of change, what can we expect? Well, the core of who we are was shook and revealed in 2020. With that came a lot of uncertainty, fear, loss, confusion and questions. For others, it may have even brought clarity, freedom and self worth. But more change, now? Well, yeah, because when you have such a shock to the foundation, massive change is bound to occur. The question is how will you react to that change? Will you be negative, abrasive, judgmental and scared? Or will you embrace it and use it to your and your fellow human being's advantage? YOU are in control. Remember who you are and act like it. This is ALL happening FOR you; not TO you. Will you be a victim to change and 2021 like you were in 2020 or will you speak your truth, align yourself with love and become empowered and aware? 

Gratitude in 2020

Everything is a blessing or a lesson. Everything. 

Yes, even in 2020 - an unprecedented time - the year of a worldwide pandemic, the year of COVID-19, the year of masks and shutdowns and quarantines.
Yes, even in 2020 - the year of the Earth's healing, the year of transformation and rebirth and self-reflection. 

As humans, it is easy (often without even thinking) to complain and immediately see the worst in a situation. It is also then easy to be that hamster on a wheel or even start that downward spiral that typically comes next if we aren’t aware. COVID-19 is real and while, thankfully, my immediate family has not been personally affected, I have many friends and family of friends who have been and my heart truly aches for them.

I have heard so many mention how they are anxious for 2021 to begin so this will be over. The mere flipping of a calendar will not make this disappear. Oh, and neither will THE election. But this isn’t a blog about politics or differing beliefs and I am not climbing up on the soapbox. Those pedestals are quite full right now. That’s not who I am, anyway. 

Who I am is a woman of pure love and light and gratitude. Gratitude. Yes, that is where this blog is going, friends. But thanksgiving and November are over, you say? Well, yes, they are but gratitude is a permanent state for me. Why? Because we attract what we focus on and what we believe. I choose to remain in a state of gratitude in order to attract more things into my life for which to be grateful! Who wouldn’t want that, right?

So, let’s go back to January 1, 2020 and reflect on our blessings AND our lessons and be grateful for each one because they happened FOR us; not TO us! I’ll start. I am grateful for:

1. the start of my work as a Hospice volunteer in January. I am grateful to have spent about two months (before she broke free of her earthly chains) with a lovely elderly lady whose family trusted me with her care. I am grateful for the beautiful friendship I found with her granddaughter as a result of my first patient pairing. There is nothing better than the feeling I get as a Hospice volunteer!
2. seeing “Grease” at the Riverside Dinner Theater with my mom in February.
3. sharing dinner with my cousins, Rosemary and Jack, in late February not, at the time, knowing how much I would truly appreciate that fellowship.
4. my first mentor turned family friend transitioning in late February and being able to spend much-needed time with her family for two days and hold a “normal” service. While the gathering was surrounded by sadness, it was also full of love, allowed me to catch up with Nicole and others and spend valuable time with Jan’s family.
5. Hubs and I making the trip to Raleigh the first week in March to see the Zac Brown Band. Little did we know it would be the first and only live show we would see in 2020. What an incredible time!
6. our first (and what turned out to be only) wine dinner of the off-season at the Salt Box Cafe.
7. my mom being able to spend almost two weeks of time with us in the OBX as, just a mere few days after taking her home, the pandemic was in full force.
8. a dear friend reaching out to me for help on a whim when a mutual friend’s husband was hospitalized. Subsequently, I am grateful for his trust in me (as we had never met in person) to connect with his energy to provide reiki healing and prudent messages to his wife. I am also eternally grateful for his willingness to continue to connect with me in spirit to reassure his wife of his love and appreciation.
9. Hubs being able to make a quick trip to Ohio to visit his mom, not knowing it would be the only trip home this year.
10. seeing the writing on the wall (even though I adored those babies) and quitting my part-time job at a dog daycare.       Now.... all of that occurred PRIOR to the pandemic. Let’s continue on through the rest of the year.  I am grateful for:
11. Hubs having a secure, federal government job in which he has always worked from home.
12. having such dear friends who I consider family that live close to Mom to assist in grocery shopping and transportation to medical appointments during this time. Mom is high-risk, having incurable lung disease, and my heart was able to rest due to the love of Sue, Sunday, Melissa and Phil.
13. being nudged to expand my awareness and energy work to a broader public collective in the form of “Spiritual Warrior Soul Daughter”. As a result, I have come in contact with beautiful souls and have been able to provide “love in service” to more than I ever imagined.
14. listening to my intuition and reaching out to a friend in which I had cut a connection to many years prior. While I was quickly reminded why that relationship had to end, and severed it for good this time, it also served a bigger purpose. As a result, I was introduced to a new soul sister in Colorado with whom I periodically send distance reiki to help in her cancer battle. While old wounds surfaced, it was for a higher purpose. TANC
15. being offered and accepting a part-time job with the local winery in June. Wine has always been a true love of mine and this experience paired perfectly with raising the vibration for myself and that of strangers. Being able to give people a sense of normalcy this year was invaluable!
16. my already resilient marriage growing even stronger as Hubs and I appreciate our lives and fall in love more every day.
17. being able to frequently support our friends (who are like family) who own and staff restaurants through takeout and curbside deliciousness. Shout out to Salt Box Cafe, Two Roads, South Beach and Mom's Sweet Shop!
18. breaking personal records in supporting John’s Drive In and Fishheads this season! The wait is usually so long at both we are lucky to get in one time a year. This year we went to EACH three times!
19. trips to my home away from home, Colonial Beach, to safely meet my mom. While it was not as often as a usual year, I am beyond grateful we had the special and few opportunities we did; especially to celebrate my dad’s birthday.
20. making a quick stop at the new Backporch Winery in King George while in town and making a new friend in the NN Wine Diva! What a wonderful visit we had-the view, the wine, the staff- to serve as a quick escape from reality.
21. enjoying three bushels of blue crabs this summer- two at CB and one from my new local friend, Steve, in Grandy.
22. the opportunity to provide weekend dog-walking services through Hospice to a lovely lady who is homebound and lost her husband in March. While she profusely thanks me every time, it is I who am the thankful one to have the privilege of caring for her precious girl and now for her as well.
23. having participated in my happy place, Winestyles of Montclair, virtual Zoom tastings. Being able to see my friends and be part of that Friday night from afar made my heart smile so big! I am also grateful for special packaged to-go orders just for me!
24. living at the beach so that I could easily clear my mind and be present in a state of gratitude when it was often very challenging.
25. the thriving mental and physical health of my family.
26. Nami growing in confidence and being a well-behaved good girl staying home alone for hours at a time while not destroying the house or eating Alvin.
27. Alvin overcoming a very scary and overwhelming health issue.
28. our beloved and devoted team of vets, staff and dog gurus who have helped us in so many ways with Alvin and Nami- Kate, Jennifer, Dr. Belton and Samson, Dr. Johnson and Brewer at Blue Pearl, vet tech Amanda and my forever angel-on-earth vet, Dr. Bakanas.
29. being offered, and then falling in love with, Sycamore Brewing Pumpkin Latte beer!
30. hurricanes and tropical storms staying away from the OBX this season (God bless those who were in those paths)!
31. finding the perfect blend of CBD oil and Benadryl to ease my Nammer’s mind for a calm car ride.
32. not waiting until May 2020 to get married, as that was a strong option back in June 2019!
33. Emily, and her local apothecary, for keeping me healthy with her magical Elderberry syrup, tinctures and teas.
34. Shree, my friend and Reiki Master, for always being the epitome of all that is love and light in a world that can often seem harsh and dark.
35. owning over 100 bottles of wine at any given time in our home. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
36. Harris Teeter in my town because Walmart on a normal day not during a pandemic is disgusting and suspect.
37. saying goodbye to my local government government career (especially EMS) a year ago in November.
38. my grandparents, as much as I miss them, not being in the physical, during this healing of the Earth.
39. afternoon visits with my soul sister keeping the barkeep staff entertained while enjoying margaritas, beer, nachos and remembering to LIVE in the present.
40. Nami faithfully serenading us to the sounds of a Drake White song. It never gets old.
41. the handsome, intelligent, funny, loving, rational man that I married is not only healthy but still by my side. Every second of every day I am grateful to be his wife and share this life with him.
42. NC Coast and Aqua for making the trek to Duck worth it-not only with fantastic meals and cocktails but in a safe and beautiful outdoor atmosphere overlooking the water.
43. Chef Amanda for satisfying our Salt Box cravings with special orders to stock our freezer and delectable cakes for both of our birthdays!
44. celebrating our one-year wedding anniversary on the outdoor porch of Salt Box Cafe-our first dining at a restaurant in eight months.
45. time in my backyard flower garden and having hydrangea bushes for the first time. Hydrangeas take me back to my childhood at my grandparents’ house.
46. my Redskins growing in confidence and talent each game thanks to Coach Rivera and for not only handing the Steelers their first loss on national tv but sweeping and stomping the Cowboys! HTTR4life!
47. discovering beautiful souls with phenomenal energy crossing my path, including but not limited to, Lauren, Jordan, Brandee and Heather.
48. having a tormented and loving soul in South Africa find me on social media and not only request my assistance in her healing but  become one with whom I have formed a long distance, beautifully energetic connection with like no other.
49. the friendship in my beautiful hair guru who continued to provide her services at home during the earlier shutdown and for Hubs becoming my very patient and excellent hair artist.
50. all of the souls, on this plane and beyond, for trusting me enough to communicate with me the messages that their loved ones so desperately need to hear. I am also grateful for those loved ones here in the physical listening and believing in my abilities.
    

While there are MANY more things to be grateful for in 2020, these are the first 50 that came to mind. 50 equating to 5 which is the number representing change so how fitting and, no, I did not plan to make a list of 50! While I know many of you did not read this blog based on its length, it really doesn’t matter. This was an exercise for me that brought me back to the present moment and returned my focus to that of love and gratitude. While change is always prevalent, this year has had monumental moments of change and, through it all, I promise you BEing love and finding gratitude at all times is what will always keep us going!

Much love and light to you and yours as we approach Christmas and the end of 2020. Instead of focusing on what went "wrong" in 2020, how about taking time to reflect on what went "right" and bringing that love and positivity into 2021. There are no coincidences, my friends!