I love birthdays. I usually wait with anticipation as August comes to a close because September is my birth month. I have things planned all month - from tiny little simple happies to larger excursions. Everyone laughs at me because I believe birthdays should be celebrated all month; not just one day. This isn't about "me" or being special. It's about feeling alive and grateful to have been given life and been chosen to live this awesome life that I am living! I never understand why people don't want to celebrate or why they think growing older is something awful. Surviving another year is often times a miracle in itself and when God has given me yet another year under my belt, I am full of gratitude!
But this year is different. As the last week in August approached, I had nothing planned. No celebrations - big or small. When I was asked what I wanted for my birthday, all my heart could say was, "I want my dad and Prowler back." Since that can't occur, there really wasn't anything material that even excited me. You'd think turning 45 would be a monumental birthday but I've been really nonchalant about it all. I wanted to just spend it with those I love - mostly hubs, my mom and my sweet little girl.
Well, it's Birthday Eve and the tides are changing... literally. While earlier in the week I was having bouts of anxiety about Hurricane Florence demolishing my little slice of paradise here in the OBX and truly stealing everything I call "home", today I am ready to celebrate. I have been energized and I have been smacked in the face by reality. I am turning 45 tomorrow and while most stores and restaurants are closed and my birthday Zac Brown Band concert present was cancelled, I am still ready to celebrate. Why? Because I am alive. Because I have pretty much all I have ever dreamed of in this lifetime. Because I have a man who believes in me, accepts all my crazy, and treats me like the queen that my daddy always made me believe I am. Because I am healthy and have an incredible roof over my head. Because I have a momma who is my best friend and holds my heart.
Why am I ready to celebrate now? As I watch CNN and see the devastating floods in New Bern, NC and farther south, I am blatantly reminded that was almost us. Had Florence not turned south.... Had she changed her mind and decided to come north again.... the flooding in New Bern would have been us. So today, on Birthday Eve, I am smiling. My heart and soul are gratefully smiling as I fall to my knees, raise my head to the sky and thank Mother Nature and the good Lord above. This truly may be one of my best birthdays yet!
God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well. - Voltaire
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