The past 24 hours, I have been surrounded with extreme bouts of strength and hope equaled by bouts of pure hysteria and fear. We are prepared to stay and we are equally prepared to leave should we deem necessary. There are many considerations to undertake –more than you realize until you are in this situation. We still have time. We are more fortunate than most – we have storm shutters, we are not in a flood zone, we have a generator, we have a plan. Most of all, we have each other.
This morning, I was already in a state of sadness and brought back to that fateful day in DC, NY and PA – 9/11. I looked outside and my American flag was flying high and proud. I walked out on my deck and I saw my calm Mother Ocean and the pink sunrise coming through the fluffy white clouds. I thanked God for allowing me this gift and I asked him to graciously protect my little slice of paradise; this amazing community that has shown more strength and love to their fellow man in the past two years that I’ve been here than I can even begin to put into words.
I ran around taking pictures of my home and belongings as I walked down the stairs to head to work for half a day and I felt a heaviness weighing on me. On auto pilot, I got in my jeep, waved to Dan at the golf course clubhouse as I passed, said “good morning” to the ocean at the end of my street and turned right onto the Bypass for my typical 25-minute drive to Manteo.
I felt myself being pulled to the ocean; to a beach access. But I didn’t want to go to my usual access. I didn’t know where I wanted to go but I needed to go. I needed to feel the sun on my face. I needed to hear and smell the ocean. I needed to feel the sand on my feet. It may be the last time for a while after today. I asked for direction and suddenly had the urge to turn left in Nags Head and drive toward the beach road. As I turned right onto the beach road, it was deserted already. I immediately turned left to the Blackman Rd. beach access. No one was there and, as I walked up the tall steps, I could feel the sun to my right and I could hear the ocean waves peacefully crashing.
As I approached the top and saw this glorious sight, I raised my head to the sky, took a deep breath and prayed. I instantly felt a source of strength and determination I haven’t felt before. There was a lone surfer to the left and the Nags Head Pier off in the distance to my right. The ocean wasn’t angry; it was breathtakingly beautiful. I took in all the beauty around me and it instantly turned into inner strength and fueled my soul.
As I walked back to my jeep, two doves greeted me and that’s when I knew I was making the right decision. A lone dove has always been a sign of my grandfather being with me and confidently urging me to stay on my current path. He never leads me astray. Two doves together strengthen that point and are a source of protection – my grandparents together – the ultimate source of unconditional love and union – solidifying that I know exactly what I’m doing and to finally just stop doubting myself.
As I proceed down the beach road, what is the first thing I see? A milepost sign. #11. Yeah, another awesome sign- clarity and guidance from my spirit guides. I survey all of the houses and businesses that I pass and my mind starts to wander and realize what could, and probably will, happen here within a matter of days. Life as we know it will change. It always does during a storm but those who live in the Outer Banks are survivors. I make the turn past Jeanette’s Pier and cross over the road leading to Hatteras Island. As I sit at the traffic light waiting to turn at Sugar Creek Restaurant to proceed across the causeway, I ask God for a sign. I ask for a sign to show me the way; to tell me what to do. I need to stop this battle in my head and be given guidance once and for all on how to handle this situation. Do I stay? Do I go? Instantly, the light turned green and as I turn, a double rainbow is smack in front of my face. I had to pull over into a parking lot to take a picture and as tears rolled down my face, I knew.......
I’m not going anywhere. This is my home. Living here has been the dream that I never thought would come true. I love my home – my physical home and this barrier island that I have called home for the last two years and has been my one true source of peace for over 30 years. I don’t want to leave. I don’t need to leave. I have a renewed strength and once this storm is over, I want to already be here so I can help those less fortunate than us rebuild. Right there on the side of the road just over the Little Bridge, I had a true awakening and have never felt so sure of anything in my life. I asked for a sign and bam! A double rainbow – a complete double rainbow! A double rainbow is meant to help us align our outer world with our inner spirit which has been my exact struggle up to this point. It is also a sign from the Universe that you are about to have something great fall into your lap and that one good thing will lead to another. Hallelujah!
And God said, "This is the sign of the covenant which I make between Me and you and every living creature with you, for everlasting generations…I set My rainbow in the cloud, and it shall be the sign of the covenant between Me and the earth . . . and the waters shall no more become a flood to destroy all flesh. (Genesis 9:12, 15, HBFV)
I arrive at work, with a smile on my face, a renewed spirit and a sense of determination and hope. I get to my desk and what do I find? Words from my father. Words he texted me when I totaled my car and was completely distraught in early 2017. “Keep the faith. Things will be fine. Be strong.” As if I needed another sign this morning...... Thanks, Daddy. You always protected your little girl and yes, I feel and know that you still are. I will carry these words with me through whatever may come……
Until then, love one another, put away the pettiness, appreciate what you have, and pray hard for all of us in the wrath of this powerful bitch named, Florence.
