I always admired and was intrigued by tattoos. I always desired to have ink on my skin but always said there was nothing I could imagine wanting on my body for the rest of my life. Perhaps in my 20s I would desire one thing but in my 80s that would not be the same want any longer. Tattoos are permanent and I wasn’t taking this endeavor lightly. Little did I know that would all change in October 2015.
I had the itch, the craving, the want for a tattoo. It was a feeling I had never felt before. I still wasn’t sure exactly what it would be but I did know a few things. I wanted words/letters. I wanted it to be on my inner left wrist. I wanted it to be meaningful and unique to me. I wanted it to honor my grandmother who had transitioned in 2013. Months went by and I was consumed with thoughts and ideas but no decision yet. I knew when the time was right, I would know and it would happen.
As I made the hour drive to Chantilly for a medium session, I started to talk to my grandmother, as I always did on the way to sessions. I asked her to please give me some sort of inspiration for my tattoo design. During the lengthy session, my grandmother did come through along with a few others. As she was validating info about my current romantic relationship, she made the statement, “There are no coincidences.” That’s when it hit me. Though she did not come out and say, “Here’s your tattoo, toots” I knew exactly what to do. My heart was overjoyed and tears rolled down my smiling face. On the drive home, it all became clear. An acronym with the letter “t” formed as a cross and the other three letters in my grandmother’s handwriting. Next I would search through cards and documents of hers to get those three letters and arrange them. My favorite guy (who is now my beloved Hubs) had a tattoo he wanted done so we made joint appointments and off we went to Jack Brown’s Tattoo Revival in Fredericksburg, VA a few months later.
My first tattoo is simple to the general public but those four letters are a constant and permanent reminder of my grandmother, our unconditional bond and shared faith. There are no coincidences, or tanc, has become my motto and at the time I had no idea of its true purpose in my soul’s journey. But as always, Grandmother did. https://winefoodie.blogspot.com/2015/10/my-permanent-reminder.html
What is it about tattoos that once you get one you must have another? I always heard that but never understood it until I got inked. I wasn’t gonna run out and be crazy though. I wanted another but it had to fit the parameters-unique to me and meaningful. When the time was right…..
After my dad transitioned in 2017, I got the nudge again. Oddly enough, Dad never wanted me to get a tattoo. It was an old school, conservative thing in his mind. Why would a pretty girl do something like that to herself? Oh Dad……
In February 2018, three years later, I got my second tattoo…….in memory/honor of my dad. This time another set of words in e.e. cummings style with a tiny heart to serve as a reminder of my plus one, the man who loved me first and best. It was with the creation of this tattoo, that I met “my” tattoo artist. Everyone has the artist they love to work with and gain that connection. I didn’t know it then but after two more AJ masterpieces, I gratefully do.
That same year, AJ created the piece that made me deem him as my “magic man”. I always wanted a dragonfly but I wanted it to be big, with specific colors and placed to represent her always “having my back” and serving as my supporter, encourager and the epitome of graceful strength. The most important “must” was that it look realistic and AJ blew me away when he showed me what he created specifically for me. He told me of the story while sitting outside behind the shop- a dragonfly landed on the picnic table and he drew my tattoo. AJ was “tanc’d” and had no idea, but she and I knew and THAT was the real beauty.
Up to this point, I had only had powerful letters/words tattooed on my arms and the time spent to have them done was minimal. This dragonfly would prove to be a major undertaking for me -two sittings of hours at a time, color, shading, lots of intricate line work, and on some areas of bone (that was super fun). Often I will get asked, “Didn’t that hurt?” It wasn’t necessarily pleasurable all the time but it was worth it. Each tattoo I have is in memory of someone who had a huge impact on my life and who went through enormous pain during the end stages of their human life. So I have nothing to bitch about in comparison to what their bodies endured and I relive those moments with every session. It’s almost as if they have a final release from that pain as I take it from them and transcend it.
Two years later, in November 2020, my most recent tattoo began and it was by far the most, let’s say, “physically sensitive” one. Three hours of being uncomfortable, sometimes in actual physical pain, I was not surprised that this one ran deep. When I walked into the shop and saw his paws displayed on the stand as AJ’s guide, tears began to roll and I clearly heard, “Hey! Those are mine! My feet!” My protector, my best friend, Prowler, stood guard at my side the entire session often wanting AJ to stop “hurting me”. When I left that day and gingerly got into my car, the time on the clock added up to six; the number that represents my boy. I had wanted him to be ok with his crossed paws on my thigh and it was then that I received the approval I needed. Yesterday, three months later, AJ completed his masterpiece and posted a photo on his Facebook page of my “doggy paws”. While most would see this as cute or fun, it is realistic and taken from an actual photo of his actual paws. They are larger than life on purpose because that is how Prowler viewed himself (and yes, he actually expressed that to me). They are disintegrating at the top to represent his transition of body back to a soul as a visual reminder that he is still by my side-my left side actually where he always insisted to be.
I was 42 when I got my first tattoo. I am now 48 and have four; each one uniquely mine and in memory of a beautiful soul. As each piece is unique, so was each experience. I learned, I cried, I laughed, I hurt, I loved, I experienced. Most of all, I was present. And for each tattoo experience, just as with each of these souls on my journey, and for my magic man for not only his artistic talent but his compassion and our connection, I was and remain grateful.
❤️🖤❤️🖤
Tattoos are the stories in your heart written on your skin.
- Charles DeLint
