She was 10 years old. No, wait, that’s what she always says. But
now that I think about it and do the math, she had to have been 11. It was summer
and her grandfather died the November after she turned 11. Wait, maybe she was 12 because it would have been the following summer.
Damn, she's too pretty to do math. At least that’s what a previous boss told her and
she's just gonna go with that.
Regardless of the actual number, it was the awkward stage of
her life – middle school years, of course – the worst three years of her life. She had a body wave in her hair and big round glasses that she hated. She remembers being tall and skinny and not a bit
shapely. Reminiscent of a baby giraffe perhaps. That turquoise one piece with black splotches was something else.... some things you wish you just didn't remember yet are so blatantly clear.
She remembers that quaint summer cottage as if it was yesterday. A maroon/brown color with dark paneling (knotty pine perhaps?) inside and a crow’s nest on top which she used as her “getaway”. They were about two blocks from the ocean but she could see it from that crow’s nest and that’s where all was right with her world, even if just for a second. She remembers her parents, her grandmother and her dad’s parents being there on vacation with them that week. Oddly enough, she doesn't remember any restaurants or stores or special places she visited. She just knows that this middle school ugly duckling didn’t feel like she belonged anywhere in the world until she came here. This is the only place on earth where she felt an instant source of peace and belonging.
As a young girl, she would daydream about being there with the man of her dreams. Years went by and boys came and went but none of them were "him". As she got older, she continued to vacation there and would even visit for long weekends with a girl friend in what became her favorite time of year, Fall. September and October became her months of choice for beach adventures. The tourists were home getting ready for winter, the restaurants were still open but with no waits, rentals were cheaper and fishermen and people with dogs were pretty much all that roamed the beach. This truly was her heaven on earth. Even into her 30s she would still cross that bridge and her blood pressure would instantly drop, she'd let out a deep sigh and pure contentment would surround her. So much has changed since then. Yet so much remains the same.
That pre-teen's innocence is gone. But so are those ugly glasses, big hair and skinny legs. Boney Maroney is no more. That one piece turned into a bikini which is now usually a tank and shorts. Her grandmother is gone, her dad's father is gone and her dad's mother is hanging on by a thread. Her parents are aging and, well, so is she.
She now lives in her heaven on earth thanks to finally finding "him". It's been nine months and she still shakes her head in disbelief and awe. Instead of annual vacations with her parents, they now come visit and stay at her house. Her house. The house she shares with the man of her dreams. The house where she can see the ocean and the sunrise from the top level. The house which backs up to a golf course and a backyard which serves as her private oasis as the sun is setting.
She sees life differently now.
She gave up an almost six-figure job for barely 30 grand.
She gave up independence and self-sufficiency for reliance on another human being for the first time since she was a child.
She lost her two-year old, "paid off" Cherokee in an accident which could have proved fatal and in turn got a reality check and a Jeep Wrangler.
She lost her best friend to cancer after only three short months of their dreams of living at the beach together became reality.
She gave up her comfort zone of friends and the only place she's ever known as home.
But she gained so very much in return.
She knows even more than she did before what is important in life.
She knows that every moment is precious. Every. Single. Moment.
She tries not to take things for granted.
She loves with every ounce of who she is and tries to live with no regrets.
That 10 year old little girl is now 43.
So much has changed.
Yet so much remains the same.
She remembers that quaint summer cottage as if it was yesterday. A maroon/brown color with dark paneling (knotty pine perhaps?) inside and a crow’s nest on top which she used as her “getaway”. They were about two blocks from the ocean but she could see it from that crow’s nest and that’s where all was right with her world, even if just for a second. She remembers her parents, her grandmother and her dad’s parents being there on vacation with them that week. Oddly enough, she doesn't remember any restaurants or stores or special places she visited. She just knows that this middle school ugly duckling didn’t feel like she belonged anywhere in the world until she came here. This is the only place on earth where she felt an instant source of peace and belonging.
As a young girl, she would daydream about being there with the man of her dreams. Years went by and boys came and went but none of them were "him". As she got older, she continued to vacation there and would even visit for long weekends with a girl friend in what became her favorite time of year, Fall. September and October became her months of choice for beach adventures. The tourists were home getting ready for winter, the restaurants were still open but with no waits, rentals were cheaper and fishermen and people with dogs were pretty much all that roamed the beach. This truly was her heaven on earth. Even into her 30s she would still cross that bridge and her blood pressure would instantly drop, she'd let out a deep sigh and pure contentment would surround her. So much has changed since then. Yet so much remains the same.
That pre-teen's innocence is gone. But so are those ugly glasses, big hair and skinny legs. Boney Maroney is no more. That one piece turned into a bikini which is now usually a tank and shorts. Her grandmother is gone, her dad's father is gone and her dad's mother is hanging on by a thread. Her parents are aging and, well, so is she.
She now lives in her heaven on earth thanks to finally finding "him". It's been nine months and she still shakes her head in disbelief and awe. Instead of annual vacations with her parents, they now come visit and stay at her house. Her house. The house she shares with the man of her dreams. The house where she can see the ocean and the sunrise from the top level. The house which backs up to a golf course and a backyard which serves as her private oasis as the sun is setting.
She sees life differently now.
She gave up an almost six-figure job for barely 30 grand.
She gave up independence and self-sufficiency for reliance on another human being for the first time since she was a child.
She lost her two-year old, "paid off" Cherokee in an accident which could have proved fatal and in turn got a reality check and a Jeep Wrangler.
She lost her best friend to cancer after only three short months of their dreams of living at the beach together became reality.
She gave up her comfort zone of friends and the only place she's ever known as home.
But she gained so very much in return.
She knows even more than she did before what is important in life.
She knows that every moment is precious. Every. Single. Moment.
She tries not to take things for granted.
She loves with every ounce of who she is and tries to live with no regrets.
That 10 year old little girl is now 43.
So much has changed.
Yet so much remains the same.
